Cold is in your head ---
When the temperature is:
60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Upstate New York plant gardens.
50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Watertown sunbathe.
40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Upstate New York drive with the windows down.
32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Saranac Lake gets thicker.
20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Upstate New York throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Lake Placid have the last cookout before it gets cold.
People in Miami all die.
People in Pulaski close the windows.
10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico
People in Upstate New York get out their winter coats.
25 below zero:
The Girl Scouts in Upstate New York are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Carthage let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Folks in Potsdam get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
460 below zero (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale):
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Upstate New York start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Upstate New York public schools will open 2 hours late
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