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true police report

by renegade600 / November 28, 2015 4:04 PM PST

21/11/2015 Wollstonecraft 2.00am. Police received numerous calls in relation to a violent domestic, with reports of a woman screaming hysterically, a man yelling “I’m going to kill you, your dead! Die Die!!”, with the sounds of furniture being tossed around the unit. Numerous police cars responded to the address and began banging on the door. A man answered the door, out of breath and rather flushed with the following conversation:
Police: “Where’s your wife”
Male: “umm I don’t have one”
Police: “Where your girlfriend”
Male: “umm I don’t have one”
Police: “We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?”
Male: “I don’t know what you’re talking about I live alone”
Police: “Come on mate people clearly heard you yelling you were going to kill her and furniture getting thrown around the unit”

At this point the male became very sheepish.

Police: “come on mate, what have you done to her.”
Male: “it was a spider”
Police “Sorry??”
Male: “It was a spider, a really big one!!
Police :”what about the women screaming?”
Male: “Yeah sorry that was me, I really really hate spiders”
As it turns out the male was chasing a rather large spider around the unit with a can or mortein. After a very long pause some laughter and a quick look in the unit to make sure there was no injured party (apart from the spider) we left.

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I'm with him, I will run from spiders too!
by James Denison / November 30, 2015 4:38 PM PST
In reply to: true police report

I can't stand'em. One time I had one fall right on my face while I was lying in bed, it was one of those large wolf spiders. I jumped from bed and saw it skitter away under the old bed. This was an older open bedspring type with matress on top when I was a teen. I tore that bed apart looking for it, but never found it. I slept that night completely covered and with the room light on.

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It was this one
by James Denison / November 30, 2015 4:41 PM PST
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Luckily in Wales, we only have the"False Widow".
by Dafydd Forum moderator / November 30, 2015 4:49 PM PST
In reply to: It was this one

But the only cure for a spider is a 12 gauge. Thank God we don't live in Oz, the insect murder capitol of the world.

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Spiders are the only critters I allow in my house
by Steven Haninger / December 1, 2015 1:30 AM PST

I'll chase down a housefly until it's made lifeless. Spiders, of reasonable size and behavior, are left alone. The only type I might capture and release are the jumping type. Since they only eat small insects, I am surprised at how they manage to make a living in my home. One thing we get a lot of in the house are what's called fungus or pantry gnats. As I understand it, these tend to be brought in when plants are brought inside for Winter. They breed in the very top layers of moist soil and a single female can produce hundreds of gnats. Control methods usually include letting plants either completely dry before watering or to water from the bottom only. Another method might be to allow spiders to help out. I don't know how many they capture but I expect it's quite a few.

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ah the "black angels"
by James Denison / December 1, 2015 6:23 PM PST
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We get two sizes of gnats
by Steven Haninger / December 2, 2015 1:47 AM PST
In reply to: ah the "black angels"

Some are much smaller and fly very slowly. They almost look like specks of dust. I'll get them flitting in front of my computer screen. Some are a bit larger and probably a different species. Any of these seem to be attracted to moisture. My biggest peeve is when I find them floating dead in my 1/2 full coffee cup. I tend to keep a paper cover over anything I drink these days.

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by Steven Haninger / December 2, 2015 1:43 AM PST

There are no pantry gnats. I mixed these up with pantry moths. We had an infestation of those one year too. That was almost worse than the gnats. Pantry moths, which go by other names as well, are about 1/2" long. They don't eat at this stage. They live only to breed and make more moths so they're no threat to clothing.

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