Thank you for being a valued part of the CNET community. As of December 1, 2020, the forums are in read-only format. In early 2021, CNET Forums will no longer be available. We are grateful for the participation and advice you have provided to one another over the years.

Thanks,

CNET Support

General discussion

To start the weekend with a smile, or a groan, a few repeats that are still funny

Mar 5, 2004 9:47PM PST

(A few that I've seen before, but they've rolled around the net back to my inbox again, so for those that may not have seen them, enjoy.)

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few people who did....

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a ********?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying eating my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

Discussion is locked

- Collapse -
OMG! Roger.....
Mar 5, 2004 9:54PM PST

That last one did me in!!! Reminds me of my 3 year old Great Grandson! LOL
He has pulled some good ones!
Glenda

- Collapse -
I've never read these before and tears were running down my cheeks (my face that is, lol) and ..
Mar 5, 2004 10:25PM PST

reminds me of something I did.
My first week of work at the Sears Tower in the stock transfer and dividend department I pulled a good one. I still to this day, hear about it from my, at that time, department manager.
When someone received dividend checks and they needed their address changed, they would write in, but in order for us to change the address, we needed an original signature from them.
I received such a request from a Catholic Priest. His signature was stamped, and not original.
My response back was,

I'm sorry we cannot change your address because rubbers are not acceptable. Please reply back with an original.

Well, thank my lucky stars, since I was a new employee, my responses were edited before sent out, lolololololol.

Mz Lee Happy

- Collapse -
Re:To start the weekend with a smile, or a groan, a few repeats that are still funny
Mar 6, 2004 12:08AM PST

Thanks Roger. My morning started kinda gloomy, rain, fog, etc. and this post really makes my day. Can't stop laughing. This is good for all day.

George