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Tires or Testicles = problems for women ;)

by MarciaB / May 5, 2005 1:25 AM PDT

(WARNING! This is pretty tacky, but I couldn't help but laugh :D)

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for many years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly and with much force every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and cause her to gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't help it, and this it was perfectly natural.

She told him many times to see a doctor as she was sure that one morning he would blow his guts out.

The years went by, and he continued to relieve his gas pressure each morning.

Then, one Thanksgiving morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was still upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards; neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting, which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could barely control herself as she laughed herself to tears. After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

A short while later her husband came downstairs holding his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."

"What do you mean?," asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out," he explained, "and today it finally happened. But, by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in!!"

Women's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you are going to have problems with it.



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first time i heard that
by jonah jones / May 5, 2005 1:28 AM PDT

(a longggggggggggggg time ago) it was 2 irishmen and he used his toothbrush....

tacky indeed Happy


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Thanks, Jonah :)
by MarciaB / May 5, 2005 2:11 AM PDT

(at least I'm assuming that the "tacky indeed" part was a compliment)




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