- Life is sexually transmitted.
- Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
- Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
- All of us could take a lesson from the weather.... It pays no attention to criticism.
- Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005:
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
"I plan on living forever.......so far, so good!"
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