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The real reason Kerry lost Ohio

by Josh K / November 5, 2004 2:04 AM PST

Newly released transcripts of cell phone conversations that took place all over Ohio shed new light on why John Kerry went down to a stunning defeat.

Begin Transcript:

Caller 1: Dude, where are you?

Caler 2: Duuuude, I'm on line waiting to VOTE BUSH OUT!

Caller 1: Man, still? How long is the line?

Caller 2: Dude, its gnarly. I may be here for hours. There are all of these moms wearing "I'm a security mom for Bush" T-Shirts. They are making this line way long.

Caller 1: That sucks dude, hey, any hot Moms?

Caller 2: Shut up man, you'll frost my buzz.

Caller 1: Anyway dude, Its too bad you're still doing your civic duty and s**t, because JoAnne just called, she just got a bag of righteous bud and was calling to see if we were coming over.

Caller 2: JoAnne? Really?

Caller 1: Yeah dude, and she asked about you specifically.

Caller 2: No s**t? But I may be here for hours. How long did it take you to vote today?

Caller 1: Man, I really wanted to, but I spent my gas money on weed and I got SOOOO BAKED this morning, it just wasn't happening.

Caller 2: DUDE, you mean you didn't vote? Are you crazy? Do you want to be drafted??

Caller 1: No worries mon. My cousin told me that when you get the draft letter, all you have to do is tell them you're gay, and they won't take you.

Caller 2: Gay? Really?

Caller 1: Yeah, its called ask and tell or some s**t like that.

Caller 2: well, then maybe I can make it over to JoAnne's.

Caller 1: Excellent! Hey, can you swing by and pick me up?

Caller 2: Sure.

Caller 1: And can you grab some beer, I kinda promised JoAnne we'd bring some.

Caller 2: No problem, I'll be there in a few.


And there you have it.

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Re: The real reason Kerry lost Ohio
by Dave Konkel [Moderator] / November 5, 2004 2:21 AM PST

Hi, Josh.

At first I wondered if yours was a dupe of mine!

-- Dave K, Speakeasy Moderator
click here to email semods4@yahoo.com

The opinions expressed above are my own,
and do not necessarily reflect those of CNET!

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(NT) (NT) ho hum still sore losers ho hum yawn
by Mark5019 / November 5, 2004 2:43 AM PST
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and if kerry was honest would helped
by Mark5019 / November 5, 2004 2:44 AM PST

like release his records dont hide self inflicted wounds, being a traitor wasnt a hinderance huh nah

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(NT) (NT) Mark, my post was a joke, lighten up, ok?
by Josh K / November 5, 2004 2:53 AM PST
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(NT) (NT) wasnt sure these days :)
by Mark5019 / November 5, 2004 3:34 AM PST
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Excellent...
by Pat S / November 5, 2004 2:55 AM PST

I hear they are dropping the "Democratic" and emphasizing the "PARTY":)

Patrick
Founder of the Enlightened Individualist Party

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Re: The real reason Kerry lost Ohio
by Rolway / November 5, 2004 3:23 AM PST

Oh Yeahhh. The stoned age crowd. So stoned they could eat kitty litter and say its real crunchy man.

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A joke? It probably did happen this way. It's the YOUTH
by Kiddpeat / November 5, 2004 6:20 AM PST

vote man! They'll live forever. Why worry about Bush? Devil

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(NT) (NT) That was a hoot, Josh!! LOL
by MarciaB / November 5, 2004 12:03 PM PST
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(NT) (NT) :-))) And there you have it.
by crowsfoot / November 5, 2004 1:05 PM PST
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(NT) (NT) Interesting what this says about Kerry voters huh?
by Evie / November 5, 2004 11:55 PM PST
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