There was this family of Schmohawk Indians sitting around the shtetl
one night. The papa, Geronowitz; the mama, Pocayenta; and the
beautiful young daughter, Minihorwitz.
"So, nu," says the daughter, "You'll never believe."
"What?" says the mama.
"Today, at high noon, I was proposed to in marriage."
"Yes?" says the mama, "so what did you say?"
"I said Yes."
"You said Yes?"
"I said Yes."
"That's wonderful," says the mama. "She said Yes! Did you hear that
Geronowitz, Minihorwitz is getting married!"
"I heard," says the papa, "I'm kvelling. So who's the lucky boy?"
"Sittin' Bagel?" says the mama, "of the SoSiouxMe tribe?"
"That's the one," says Minihorowitz.
"Oy, Geronowitz! The SoSiouxMe's! There are so many of them! How can
we feed them? How can we get them all in our teepee for the wedding?"
"We'll think of something," says Geronowitz.
"Geronowitz! Get me a buffalo!" says the mama.
"What, at this hour?"
"No, Geronowitz, for the wedding! I can make buffalo tzimmes from the
meat, and we can make an extra teepee from the hide. Get me a buffalo!"
So Geronowitz goes out to hunt a buffalo. A day goes by, and a night
and Geronowitz has not come back. Another day and another night, and
still no sign of him. Another day and half the night, and Geronowitz
comes home - Exhausted. Staggering. And empty-handed..
Geronowitz! I've been worried sick. Where have you been? And where's
"It's like this," he says. "On my first day out, I hunted high, and I
hunted low, and I finally found a buffalo. But this buffalo, he made
Mickey Rooney look strong. It was a tiny, scrawny little buffalo,
with no meat on his bones for buffalo tzimmes, and barely enough hide
for a rain hat. So I settled in for the night to try again the next
"The second day, I looked high, and I looked low, from this way and
that way, and I finally found a buffalo. He was a big buffalo, with
lots of meat, and lots of hide, but I tell you, Pocayenta, this was the
ugliest buffalo I ever saw in my life. 'This', I thought to myself, 'is not
the buffalo for MY daughter's wedding. So again, I settled in for the
night to try again the next day.
"The third day, I got up early, and I looked high and I looked low,
from this way and that way, going up hills und down hills, suddenly,
there it was! A magnificent buffalo. It was a big buffalo. It was, as
buffalos go, a beautiful buffalo. It was, if I say so myself, the perfect
buffalo. This, I says to myself, is the buffalo Pocayenta wants for
"So I reach into my backpack quietly for my tomahawk and, as I tiptoe
over to the buffalo, I raise my tomahawk slowly over the buffalo's
neck, when suddenly, like a bolt of lightning from the sky, I see it."
"See what?" says Pocayenta.
"I've brought the milchedik tomahawk!"