This guy goes into a bar with a cute monkey in a cage. Everyone loves the monkey with the big head and begs the owner to let the very rare monkey out to play.
After explaining to them, the Big Headed Spider Monkey is very rare and kind of a brat, he lets the monkey out.
The monkey goes around spilling drinks, pooping on the bar, making a PITA out of himself, he swoops down from the light fixture and grabs the cue ball off the pool table and swallows it as the players try to get it back. They are all pissed off and finally catch him and get him back into the damn cage.
Two weeks later the man returns to the bar with the monkey, he refuses to let the monkey out of the cage but gives the bar ******* permission to feed him, through the cage bars. The oldest one yells, hey mister, look at what your monkey is doing. She hands the monkey a peanut, the monkey takes it, stuffs it up his backside, pulls it out and eats it. Oh yuck, she says.
Oh that, says the owner, ever since that horrible cue ball insolent two weeks ago, he now measures everything he eats.