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Thank you CNET. Read whole thing before commenting

by FormyLovealways / August 9, 2011 8:04 PM PDT

Three months ago, my wife called me while I was at work saying that she was experiencing very painful migraines. I left the office immediately and took her to the hospital. She received a CT scan and it took 72 hours for the results to come in. The doctor made a phone call to my cell explaining that he had some bad news and wanted to talk to me and my wife in person about it. My wife did not know that the news we were going to hear was bad as I had personally specified the doctor to call me and not my wife. I still remember the car ride, it was a feeling I'll never forget; knowing your loved one is about to hear the news that will change her life. When we arrived at the office, the doctor sat us both down in the CT room and explained what each xray represented. He finally said my wife had been diagnosed with a tumor in her brain stem known as Brain Stem Glioma. This was an inoperable tumor because of the location being in the brain stem. The basic life functions are associated in this location so the only treatment option available was radiation therapy. After five sessions of treatment, I noticed my wife's hair thinning and falling out after even the slightest touch. The doctor explained that the treatment targets cells that divide quickly so hair loss is inevitable. My wife's skin color had also changed and she could barely walk. Eating was one of the hardest activities in the day. After the sixth session, the doctor came to us with devastating news. My wife's tumor had been progressing and there were no treatment options available. He told us she only had three weeks to live and she would have to be in a bed until that time to alleviate any pain from sitting or standing up. I cried for three or four hours that day until my wife finally told me "Lets make our time a good one not a sad one". I took a leave of absence from work and took care of my wife every day. I bathed her, fed her, talked to her, and had the most revealing deep conversations I've ever had with my wife. About a week after we were told her treatment had failed my wife asked me if I can take her outside so she could see the sun and feel the weather. I tried to help her but she collapsed while trying to walk because of the weakness in her legs. I went to the hospital and brought a wheelchair for her and began giving her short walks throughout the day. On June 2, I saw a commercial on TV about a 3D LED TV that had displayed the outdoors and thought to myself if my wife would want to experience a 3D movie. I went to the retailer and asked the employee there about LED TVs. I partially told him of our current situation and he had recommended me a passive 3D LED TV. Now I was looking around and saw one that just "felt" right. It was pretty expensive but the money didn't matter. It was a 65 inch LW6500 by LG. I didn't know too much about all the features because time was a factor. When I brought it home, my wife showed a burst of energy I haven't seen during this whole ordeal. She looked like an excited child waiting to play with her new Christmas present. I would have thought that she was only acting, trying to make things seem normal but once she stood up for a brief moment, I was glad I purchased this TV. I bought her favorite movies along with the TV; the Shawshank Redemption, Forrest Gump, Fight Club, are some of them, I bought about 15 movies in total. I placed the TV in our bedroom right where we would be able to watch lying down. Since my wife was very weak, I was worried about the weight of the 3D glasses being too heavy but she seemed absolutely fine wearing them. The funny thing was, she had no idea this TV was a 3D TV until I pulled out the glasses. Coincidently, she mentioned to me "Honey, these movies you brought, aren't they supposed to be 3D as well? I told her that there are indeed 3D movies out however I wanted to watch her favorite ones with her in 3D while using the conversion feature the employee at the retailer had told me about. She just winked and gave me a really warm smile. We watched every single movie I bought along with several others I purchased additionally. It was an absolutely memorable experience. At times my wife would forget she was even sick or that I would forget or we both would. On June 17, my wife could barely speak and she was signaling to me to get her a glass of water. When I brought it to her, her eyes were closed and she was unresponsive. I didn't even think about calling 911 because I knew she was gone and I just held her and cried. Her funeral was arranged for June 24, a Friday, the same day of the week she was born. I'll never forget her and the time we shared together. The reason I wrote this story is because I was watching a movie on my LED TV the other day and realized the deep attachment I have to my TV. I've since researched many things about it on CNET and like it even more. I'm not advertising saying this is the TV to purchase for a sick person, I was just dealt the unusual hand of having a TV become an important part of me through the experience during my wife's final days. The TV brought nothing but absolute comfort, joy, and memories of my happiness. I thought I'd share this story with CNET because I felt it was somehow indirectly involved.

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Wow... jeez
by hereisjenna / August 9, 2011 8:17 PM PDT

Why do I have to read something like this right before work. I would have enjoyed this piece with a bottle of wine. I apologize for finding some parts of this piece amusing(not your wife). I do have one question, why did you not put any spaces in your piece. I had to copy and paste it on a document and add the spaces myself. Glad to see that TV gave you such a heartfelt experience.

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Welp.
by coastTOcoast533 / August 12, 2011 3:16 PM PDT
In reply to: Wow... jeez

Why didn't you put any questions marks after your questions?

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really ?
by DADSGETNDOWN / August 13, 2011 12:15 PM PDT
In reply to: Wow... jeez

I see it perfectly spaces and all. Something wrong with your computer or they fixed it.

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Explain
by DADSGETNDOWN / August 14, 2011 6:14 AM PDT
In reply to: really ?

Your thumbs down. Don't give it a thumbs down and run away.

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My sympathy to you and the family.
by ahtoi / August 10, 2011 2:50 AM PDT

It's such a nice story to share with us. Take care.

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Thank you for sharing this with us.
by Lee Koo (ADMIN) CNET staff/forum admin / August 10, 2011 3:27 AM PDT

My sympathies to you for your loss. Please take care.

-Lee

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Sorry for your loss.
by mattrosen / August 10, 2011 10:24 AM PDT

I have that same TV....I'm sorry for your loss. My offer my condolences.

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touching...
by brainiacmaniac32 / August 10, 2011 4:07 PM PDT

I couldn't imagine losing my wife and yet consider thanking a website for a TV. I guess an LG can do that. You have my sympathy and I hope you have a good future. Take care.

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man im sorry
by fishysmellsgood / August 10, 2011 4:16 PM PDT

Man im sorry dude. I can feel your pain. My mom died a few years ago. Great story by the way + I have the same TV you have.

*Brainiacmaniac32, remember me? You're the one who gave me advice on here about Cinema 3D , I ended up getting a LW6500.

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:-0
by woncho48 / August 10, 2011 4:24 PM PDT

man i'm sorry you lost your wife.
At least you made her feel good before she passed away.
hope things go well for u in the future.

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wow
by samisgray / August 10, 2011 4:43 PM PDT

this is a moving story... sorry for your loss
it's amazing the attachment you got to your 3D TV for the things it has done (and alleviated) for you..
again, my condolences and thanks for sharing!

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heartfelt story
by jmgrss / August 10, 2011 4:44 PM PDT

I can't believe this is the first post I read after joining CNET Forums... this is incredible and heartfelt... I'm so sorry for your loss. You seem a strong and incredible person, going through all of this..

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stay strong
by electronicspimp / August 11, 2011 11:43 AM PDT

I think posts like this can be healthy in a purely technical forum. Sorry about your wife. Stay strong.

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info
by koolkidjoe / August 12, 2011 12:43 PM PDT

I am sorry for your loss, I can relate, I also watched someone very close pass away due to cancer. And I know this might piss you off, but you should watch this: http://youtu.be/H0ibsoqjPac?t=20m17s

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Know the law if you're going to cite it
by itfitz01 / August 12, 2011 3:14 PM PDT

@hurlburj:

I'm a doctor. I'm VERY familiar with the HIPAA law (by the way, it's NOT spelled HIPPA). It's extremely common and quite easy for a patient to give the right of disclosure to a third party -- usually to a spouse, family member, or close friend. This is done with a one-paragraph release form found in most hospitals and doctors' offices.

The bulls**t part was your reaction to a sincere post. If the original post was a shill for the LG TV, or if it was an advertisement for the "'3D council of America' or whoever," don't you think the author would have discussed the incredible, lifelike 3-D graphics which entertained and kept his wife's cancer pain away? Wouldn't he have discussed the vivid colors and 3-D effects which were so real he felt like he could reach out and touch Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption? Why do you have to be such a hater? And what made you take the 2 1/2 minutes you wasted on writing your post and spew forth such hateful drivel? Can't you be positive?

I hope you find peace and a cure to whatever is ailing you. I'm certain that help is out there.

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Thank you CNET...
by pbbt / August 12, 2011 2:57 PM PDT

I read this and cried. I have a sibling who died suddenly from complications from this very thing. You have my deepest and most heartfelt condolences. I wish you the most wonderful of future, and know that she is watching over you as a very special angel.

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I know what you mean.
by Youngblood0235 / August 12, 2011 3:18 PM PDT

When Debbie died everything that had a history between me and her became very important to me. My wife died in 1993. Thank you for sharing.

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God Bless
by gerry908 / August 12, 2011 3:51 PM PDT

I felt your loss and cried. My wife died 4 years ago of Motor Neuron Disease so I have a good idea what you must be going through.

I still miss my wife but the pain does lessen with time

God Bless and be strong

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Thanks!
by henkslb / August 12, 2011 11:21 PM PDT

Thank you for showing us that people everywhere have the same basic feelings--and they should share them!
I hope you will meet happiness in the future and I am quite sure you will find it because you are an 'active' person.
Greetings,
Henk

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Thank you
by RivaVakar / August 12, 2011 11:28 PM PDT

It took some time for you to write this and it must have been painful. I thank you for reminding me the beauty of technology is its humanity. I mean I know how a good movie on a good television can take you out of yourself, away from the pain, even better when shared with another, and as far as I'm concerned that television's ability to transcend reality for your wife is the very reason for technology.

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Kin brothers, lost wife June 11 from 2yr battle cancer
by deejxue / August 12, 2011 11:40 PM PDT

Your story really hit home. Short story, 2 years ago Memorial Day weekend, just 3 weeks after coming back from Hawaii, my wife was diagnosed with Neuro-Endocrine Carcinoma. After 2 years of receiving shots and it seeming to get better, she was told the tumors were multiplying. After a preliminary mapping procedure to do radiation, my wife came home, developed symptoms she'd never had, and spent the next 6 weeks in bed, 1 week in the hospital and then another week in bed after I brought her home on hospice. I spent the last 2 weeks there by her side, hoping for the best, doing everything I could for her, watching her body betray her and become unable to do even the most basic thing for herself. She passed on June 11, and like your wife, her services were Friday June 24, 2011. While many have sought to console me, only a few friends who have lost their mates have a remote idea of how this feels--how great the loss, how your life is so completely changed, how intertwined your life was.

I only want to reach out as a kindred soul to let you know there is someone else out here who really does know what kind of pain this causes and the depth of your loss. Feel free to contact me. While I've been on this forum for some time, this is the first post I've replied to or tracked.

Take care of yourself, don't forget to eat and don't be alone too much.

Sincerely,
DJ

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Re:Thank you CNET. Read whole thing before commenting
by sidel1932 / August 13, 2011 12:47 AM PDT

As my wife and I move into our "later years," we are ever more aware of the huge, and often strange, impact of technological advancement. First and foremost, we are both aware that had we been born a generation or two earlier, we probably would not have survived to our current age. Further our lives have been so soft and easy thanks to scientific and technical advancement.

It is easy to see the medical contributions in this area, and the changes in life style wrought by advances in agriculture, material production, transportation, and more recently communications are thoroughly noted and discussed. Social structural chages (nursing, hospitals and hospices, for instance) are also seen. The negatives - such as nuclear weapons - are also with us. BUT, Your story of the beautiful solace brought by a very recent technological product seems to represent one more new and hopeful direction in the impact of technology on our lives. Nothing can replace Love or Loved ones, but maybe there are Things that can ease the loss.

Not everyone can "make it" after such a loss, but many do with the help of other family and friends and careers and hobbies - and now with things like 3D TV's especially when they have an important connection with the lost loved one. My condolences and wishes for your best continuation with all the support you can find, including the TV and your CNET friends.

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Amen!
by andy_the_CIRCUIT_RIDER / August 13, 2011 1:17 AM PDT

Thanks for sharing. It reminded me why I took Stephens Ministry training. I pray that GOD will bring to you a compasionate listener as you travel the path of grief. I will be praying. Andy

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Hi FormyLovealways
by kimsland9 / August 13, 2011 1:50 AM PDT
Brain Stem Glioma: typically first diagnosed in children around 7 years of age.
For that reason, at least your wife was able to live a lot longer than most first diagnosed with this tumor.

BTW that large (65") TV in the bedroom is not that great of an idea, the sales guy should have informed you that when announcing that it would be located in the bedroom. Generally this TV (also being large) can show distortion (poor definition to the edges of objects on display as well as horizontal lines) when viewing up close. Its basically a TV for a large room. LG knows this, and that's why they usually sell the TV with '7' extra 3D glasses! ie Its a lounge room (or cinema room) ideal TV, not bedroom. So that employee may not have given the best advise for you.

I was very saddened to hear of the loss of your wife, and do find it remarkable that you are able to tell others of the 'entertainment' of watching your TV whilst she was alive. Mostly doctors will advise that you throw away the TV when a terminal illness is discovered, and try to venture outside more. The fact that you did try to do this with your wife's wishes of 'see the sun and feel the weather', saddens me even more. I hope you were able to open any large (?) windows and curtains in your bedroom for this to happen? I would have loved to hear more of that. If it were me, I'd tear down the walls, if I couldn't get my partner outside (then obviously rebuild them every night!)

Since this TV gave her last 'entertainment', the best words of wisdom I can find in this is, we should all try to get outside as much as we can whilst we can. And forget about buying big TVs unless we have to.

Thanks for sharing.
If you're still out there, I'd like to know if the TV is now off.
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Kimsland9 you are an insensitive fool...
by VladimirGoshenko / August 15, 2011 12:00 PM PDT
In reply to: Hi FormyLovealways

How can you make such an uninformed comment to a story that is obviously well thought out and written? Of course you can mention the pros and cons about the TV he had purchased but that is not the point. As far as the retailer making a "mistake" and implying the man's bedroom isn't large enough to accommodate a 65" model, plainly shows your inability to distinguish the fact houses aren't always the same size and some bedrooms are as big as some living rooms. And please save your artificial sympathy for more others like you; Starting your comment out with a technical sentence as if to educate the man about something he hadn't known or starting the next sentence with "BTW that large..." then following up with..."Your sympathetic response is just so hypocritical. No wonder your comment had 8 thumbs down, its about to be 9!.

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You must be joking?
by kimsland9 / August 15, 2011 3:02 PM PDT

The entire original post is technical, passive this, and 3D that.
Its amazing if this guy knows more for his TV or anything else.

Even a large TV in a large BEDroom, is not ideal with a terminal ill patient who wants to FEEL and see the outside.
As I clearly stated, do yourself a big favor and get outside, everything is already 3D
What I'd do is obviously quite different to this fellow. Instead of purchasing some DUMB TV, i would have made the biggest window that opens out to the world, or moved her to somewhere she could have been in this.

Buying an expensive TV, was a waste.

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you lack human emotion
by VladimirGoshenko / August 15, 2011 3:12 PM PDT
In reply to: You must be joking?

You're trying to rationalize his decision for purchasing a TV. Not everybody would do what YOU would do in a particular situation. But the original poster's situation is far from basic. Many factors can affect a person's decision at that specific moment. Don't try to justify yourself by saying you wouldve done this, you wouldve done that. There is a specific word for a person like you. You are a Hater. I'm sure you've seen many documentaries, comedy sketches, any other program in the real world or media that defines that word. You fit the exact definition my friend. Go look it up at www.urbandictionary.com

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Stepping out of the fog when life throws a curve ball.
by Youngblood0235 / August 24, 2011 11:09 PM PDT
In reply to: you lack human emotion

Until you lose a partner, you truly don't understand how close you come to losing yourself. You can be lost in a fog so fast, because a part of your soul is missing. Apparently, FormyLovealways, enjoys CNET and was trying to step out of the fog and remain part of the world. When you get hit with a curve ball like this and you share, how are you going to remember the aspect ratio on a TV? He tried, he shared, he stepped out of the fog and didn't give up. That's what we have to remember. I wish I would have had the guts to do that. I spent almost 2 years in a fog, licking wounds, so to speak. I think some of the comments are uncalled for. I've been tracking CNET for a couple of years. I come here for my technical needs. I for one, am glad to see that CNET is not just hardware and software. There is some soul in there. Remember, after a curve ball, the hardest and most important thing is to get back into the swing of things. That takes a team like CNET not just an individual player. I ask, please remember this before making a comment.

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actually no
by mattrosen / August 15, 2011 3:16 PM PDT
In reply to: You must be joking?

The post is hardly technical. Kimsland, I don't think you realize what the meaning of "technical" in a tech forum means. That means he wouldve have had to discuss everything from the contrast ratio;the black levels; the Hz rating;the entire 3D interface. From his post, I can see that he only mentioned "passive" "65 inch" and a 2d to 3d conversion, which are all entirely relevant to explaining his story. Stop acting like a d-bag and just enjoy things for what they are.

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Love and Technology at Best
by GilCaz / August 16, 2011 2:06 AM PDT
In reply to: actually no

I thank him for sharing what a difference technology made in the last days of his wife's life. It is a post that make me think how blessed I am and there are others that are going through difficult times. You are missing the point. Technology has a great part in our lives. I admire his decision to have use technology to better his wife's last days. Love and technology at best.

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