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someone, anyone, everyone, please

I am about to loose my relationship over this pc. To save clicking my bio, it's a one year old P4 nVidia, Titan, all the usual stuff, ACS in Claremont built.

Here's the problem. The pc was new 1 year ago. We just had it reformatted because it was infected beyond repair. Just got it back. Have Verizon DSL, using NAV, getting KAV, SP2 for XPpro, ZoneAlarm Pro with windows firewall turned off, using a router. Will be getting appropriate malware cleaners. Didn't have any of that before, tho I knew better.

MY PARTNER thinks a PC should run like a TV. NO problems, no glitches, just smooth as silk and no work fot the owner, "otherwise why would anyone own one?".
I NEED someone to straighten him out. The better the credentials, you know, but ANYBODY.
Humbly
Carol

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You'd be better off in one of the help forums

In reply to: someone, anyone, everyone, please

While human relationships are not fixed here (to my knowledge), you will be able to find plenty of evidence that PCs are less than forgiving by convincing your partner to peruse some of the help forums such as for XP (or OS of choice) and the one for virus and security alerts. You'll find that 'Eternal vigilance is the price of (PC) freedom!' Now, my last sentence is the one that might stir up a ruckus here! Shocked Oops! Better not use the word "ruckus" either! Happy

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Re: You'd be better off in one of the help forums

In reply to: You'd be better off in one of the help forums

I really appreciate that, and I love your sentence structure, but there is a reason I posted it here. HE thinks all the folks in those forums are nuts like myself. I'm trying to prove something, and if I show him the forum he may not suspect that you are all evil computer addicts. <grin>
Well If you can't help, you can't, I like you anyway.
Carol

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Re: You'd be better off in one of the help forums

In reply to: Re: You'd be better off in one of the help forums

were nut nuts were just crazy puters break and the fun is in fixing

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Re: You'd be better off in one of the help forums

In reply to: Re: You'd be better off in one of the help forums

I remember someone saying that PCs of IBM descent were designed for men and Macs for women. They said that IBMs w/Windows break and Macs don't which was perfect because women want harmonious relationships and men need adversarial ones. Does this make any sense or is it a sly dig? Confused

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The problem is that Macs break too ...

In reply to: Re: You'd be better off in one of the help forums

They just break in different ways and for different reasons.

AFAIK there is no computer that always works exactly as expected, except perhaps for an abacus or a 4 function calculator. The problem is that what we 'expect' is not necessarily in line with what should rationally be expected given the primitive state of programming technology.

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Re: The problem is that Macs break too ...

In reply to: The problem is that Macs break too ...

Carol, some thoughts in no particular order:

Your TV and your computer are probably about equally fool-proof in their operation. The difference is that you have to provide all of the technical effort to keep your own PC running, while the TV station has a significant team of technicians that you don't see and you don't pay that keep your TV signal coming in as if by continuous magic. Remember that your TV, by itself, only does 3 things: change channels, adjust the picture qualities, and adjust the sound volume. The content is controlled by entities outside your home, and is regulated by others - both government (as to what is permitted to be shown) and by the TV station/cable operator (as to what is chosen to be shown and when). If you want your PC to operate at the same "intellectual" level, you can do that simply by not turning it on. Once you turn your PC on, you (and it) are in a completely different arena.

Bill Gates (and Steven Jobs on the Apple/Mac side) would love you to think that a PC should be like a TV, and they have worked fairly hard to do that. However, there are just too many variables in hardware and software to completely pull it off. Also, in their attempts to put in "neat" entertaining features that you don't have to know how they work or do anything to make them work, they have effectively left your front door open with an invitation to unscrupulous types to take advantage of you.

Of course, maybe what you need to do is insist your partner come out here and face us in person about this, rather than sending you (who already knows what the situation is) in search of "proof." It sounds passive-aggressive to me, and you will never win against a passive-aggresive personality.

dw

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Re: The problem is that Macs break too ...

In reply to: Re: The problem is that Macs break too ...

I think this may be the message I need, and what I was looking for. Really puts things in a whole new perspective. Very good.
I have tried to explain the REALITIES of the world of computing to him, he just doesn't like them. Passive aggressive? No way, aggressive aggressive. He didn't send me in here. I found this place and it's mine.
Thank you very much
Carol

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Re: I found this place and it's mine -- Welcome, Carol...

In reply to: Re: The problem is that Macs break too ...

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Re: You'd be better off in one of the help forums

In reply to: Re: You'd be better off in one of the help forums

Hmmm, sounds like a sly dig. Or maybe a complement? Yep, I'm the tech person around here. Self taught after my dos loving husband died. I just like to learn.
relentlesss, and I am....

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Tell him

In reply to: someone, anyone, everyone, please

If he cannot be bothered to learn about the 'tool', your PC, then leave the hell alone.
Hackers and virus writers have a ball with someone like him. Sad

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I think she STILL has the wrong forum.......

In reply to: Tell him

as we are all PC addicts and nutsos in SE too! LOL
Glenda

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SE I.M.O is a general points of view forum

In reply to: I think she STILL has the wrong forum.......

I don't think she is after any technical advice, which the other forums are for, but a general point of view about her man's attitude.
That's how I see it anyway.
If she wanted specific technical advice Glenda then I would agree, this isn't the place.

Steve

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Re: SE I.M.O is a general points of view forum

In reply to: SE I.M.O is a general points of view forum

You missed my point SteveHappy She said she didn't go to the tech forums as her S/O thought they were addicts and/or geeksHappy And I laughingly pointed out that all of us in SE are also addicts and geeksHappy
Glenda

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I see where you are going now Glenda

In reply to: Re: SE I.M.O is a general points of view forum

and yes, I agree, there are a load of technical guys and gurls on S.E, who also make contributions to the technical forums.
Sorry I didn't quite follow your drift the first time. Happy

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Re: Tell him

In reply to: Tell him

I'm relentlesss's friend, First there must be more to your lives? Paranoia is what this about. I have never had problems with others,desktop notebook. If you go looking for trouble that's what you get. Let the machine do it's job.

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Re: Tell him

In reply to: Re: Tell him

I DID NOT POST THAT MESSAGE!
I told him, printed some of your replys, and he got into my account through my email, he knows all my passwords. I think you can now see what I'm dealing with. SHEEEESH!
I'm soooo sorry.
Carol

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Hi friend of relentlesss

In reply to: Re: Tell him

How long do you expect your car will last if you don't maintain it? Or is an oil change just paranoia?

--Cindi
Speakeasy Moderator
click here to email the mods

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Re: Tell him

In reply to: Re: Tell him

Hi, Friend.

>> I have never had problems with others,desktop notebook. <<
I find that hard to believe,m unless you never use e-mail or the web. If you do, then unless you take precautions, you must be loaded with viruses and spyware. Furthermore, while computers may work as designed, there are many pieces of software that don't work and play well with one another.

-- Dave K, Speakeasy Moderator
click here to email semods4@yahoo.com

The opinions expressed above are my own,
and do not necessarily reflect those of CNET!

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Ah, your friend may have the same attitude

In reply to: someone, anyone, everyone, please

as some of my relatives. Buy a computer, have a guy come out to install, then expect it to work like a TV never doing any type of maintenance or desire to.
When their 60-90 day subscription to anti-virus program runs out they do not renew the subscription or get a free one. Who ever heard of a silly virus or spyware. If the new fangled sheen don't work, they call tech support who auto gives them a reformat telling them their PC is now just like the day they receive it.

Then of course they rely on the salesman when they buy a computer, and disappointed when it won't play Doom3 because he sold them one with not enough RAM or the right Graphics.

Oh well, some won't pay attention to anyone, especially the AOL users....so it's their money to waste and strike up a continuing friendship with their format tech over the phone.

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Re: Ah, your friend may have the same attitude

In reply to: Ah, your friend may have the same attitude

You guys are hilarious. You're right this is the correct forum. I wasn't looking for tech advise, but someone with a convincing way of explaining why a pc is not like a tv in terms of the users responsibilities. Which is not tech. And btw, I used to be on elite boards in the 90's, I got techie friends comming out my ears. They are no more credible to him than I am. I thought you all might be, but I can see you are all drunks! ROTFLOL aka ;->
Thanks to all of you, I enjoyed this.
carol

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I have a suggestion...

In reply to: Re: Ah, your friend may have the same attitude

I have a suggestion. Tell him that the next time you buy a car, you want one of those models that mever breaks and never needs any maintenance. Checking the oil or some such is a pain, better to get one of those ones that don't require that time-waisting upkeep. Come to think of it, the same could apply to buying a new house (grin).

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So there you have it!

In reply to: Re: Ah, your friend may have the same attitude

Never make a judgement based on one opinion. It's also ok (IMO) to never make up ones mind but continue to listen, learn and be open to change while acting on your best instincts at the time. TVs have a purpose and so do PCs and the fact that they both have a viewing screen is where the similarity stops. One does not have much of a "relationship" with a TV. It and the offered contents either please or they do not. You turn it on and off as you see fit. With a PC there is give and take. If you get angry at a TV and abruptly unplug it, it will happily return to your service at your next desire. If you do this to a PC it may hold a grudge and, in its own way, let you know that you may have injured it. Hmmm! sound a bit like human relationships, doesn't it?

Now for my view of these forums. I cruise between the PC help and SE postings often and mostly just read. I learn more with mouth closed than open. I do provide some PC support for the school my wife teaches in and often find resolutions to problems there. As for SE, it's a place to share and learn. It's also a real study in group dynamics. Are there crazies here? I really don't know. Is there conflict of opinion? you bet!! But, that's quite a good thing (again, MHO). The only way you really know what tastes good is by trying something that tastes bad once in a while. My first reply stated that these forums don't fix relationships but, if you can keep an open mind, they should not break them either. Again, my two cents.....

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Gee! And here I thought you were just a beginner:) Some leg

In reply to: Re: Ah, your friend may have the same attitude

pulling going on here?
Glenda


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Who Is relentlesss?

Community Info:


Registered Since: June 26, 2004

Total Posts: 10

Date Last Visited: September 5, 2004



Personal Info:


Location: Claremont

Computer Proficiency: Beginner

Operating System: XP Pro

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Re: Gee! And here I thought you were just a beginner:) Some

In reply to: Gee! And here I thought you were just a beginner:) Some leg

I am a beginner. Think about it, a 386 built out of spare parts off a 17 year old hackers garage. I was on elite boards mostly because of who I knew, I was a mother hen. I played with writting code but that was 12 years ago. We never did anything malicious and it wasn't about money. Now, 40gig hds? We never even imagined it. When my beloved husband died I let computers alone other than email. Windows was barely out. So, I'm starting over. No leg pulling, honest.
relentlesss

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Computers and relationships are the same

In reply to: someone, anyone, everyone, please

As soon as you get one, there is input, and the conflict begins. How you deal with the conflict is the key...you either protect yourself mightily by isolating yourself from everything and avoid input completely, or you put yourself/your computer on the line to receive data/input and learn what the computer/relationship has to offer. The error messages most of the time will be the same...vague input that you have to decipher in order to troubleshoot and make the computer/relationship work.

Then you either dump the computer/relationship in search of better or you keep working at troubleshooting what you have until it bends to your will and rises to the challenge and everything meshes....until the next input starts it up in a new troubleshooting direction.

You either learn to love the whole process because it enriches your life or you stop beating that dead horse and move on to the next nag.

TONI

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You've got the key, Toni...

In reply to: Computers and relationships are the same

You've got the key, Tony. If something enriches your life, even though it may sometimes have a problem, that enrichment makes it well worth having.
In my particular case, my computers are something that I find quite necessary to my normal life. I think that a reasonable course of action in such a case is to prepare in case something goes wrong, as can happen with any physical thing.
Just a Thought: I came up with a personal way to deal with such, as my computer is so critical to me. I got two of those bays that fit into 5-inch bays on the front of the computer which hold hard drives. A good one runs but $15 or so, a great one but $20. One holds the main computer hard drive. Why two? A 120 Gig, 7200RPM hard drive with an 8 meg cache runs but $85 (I like Western Digital.). Sily as it may sound at first, the second hard drive bay/holder is not even connected to the cable to the motherboard, it's just storage. Murphy's law, if I stored the spare on a shelf or some such, something might happen to it. The second unconnected drive is cheap, safe storage.
Now then, that said, consider what that would give you. The second hard drive in the storage bay could be switched with the other in a trice, and if the main messes up, that would get the computer back up to think about dealing with the problem with the main one. The second one could be a periodically made "clone" of the main one as a backup. Or another thought: The Main could be Windows98 and the spare one WindowsXP. Bonus with this idea is that with this idea you can switch OS with a quick plug in switch when you decide to use your computer, as well as still having that drive as a get online/working safety factor.
Bottom line, there are ways to plan ahead for trouble if your computer is important to your lifestyle. My little idea, although it costs $100 list (it can be done cheaper) is just away that I happened to chose. I think that money or time spent on an emergency plan with something important to you is well spent, and much more perferable to giving up the thing that you find important.

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No, no, no! Wrong as usual, Toni!

In reply to: Computers and relationships are the same

You have defiantly come to the right place, Relentlesss !

If there is one over-arching, undeniable, proven beyond any shadow of doubt, truth of concept that we here in Speakeasy have established, with untold vast quantities of empirical evidence over these oh so many years, it's this:
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YOU ARE BRILLIANTLY RIGHT AND CORRECT IN ALL THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
... and anybody who doesn't see it is a danged, stubborn-a$$ed idiot! The sooner you establish this simple truth, the better off he'll be.

Hope this helps.

Wink


.

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Defiantly or Definitely???? lol

In reply to: No, no, no! Wrong as usual, Toni!

I'm trying to remember the last time I was wrong about anything........heheheheheh

BUT, I'm sure that WHEN/IF I was, Ed or James D. pointed that out to me.

BUT, WHEN I'M RIGHT, I'M RIGHT (at least in MY own mind and that's where it counts anyhow) and it would take an awful lot to change that directional thinking. Ummm....sounds like terrorism. I have to rethink.........

TONI

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(NT) (NT) drat! reign droops on my haid. :)

In reply to: Defiantly or Definitely???? lol

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Re: Computers and relationships are the same

In reply to: Computers and relationships are the same

I don't normally post this much but I had to reply. This was a very poetic analogy. I've seen you here and there, very, very smart woman.
relentlesss

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