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General discussion

SOME TRUE FACTS

Feb 26, 2004 3:52AM PST

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Probably a repeat but some of these you just can't read too often. Wink


The problem with being a leader is that you can't be sure if people are following you or chasing you.

If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use duct tape.

You'll never meet the "perfect" mate, settle for the one whose faults you can most easily tolerate.

If you wake up breathing, congratulations, you have another chance.

Just because you have pain doesn't mean you have to be one.

Some people cause happiness wherever they go, others, whenever they go.

If you think you have no faults, that's one more.

Humility is a strange virtue, just when you think you have it, you've lost it.

Ideas are like children, our own are the greatest.

Opportunity knocks but once, temptation leans on the doorbell.

To make a good speech, have a good beginning, a good ending, and keep them as close together as possible.

Tact is the ability to close your mouth before somebody else wants to.

Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.

Education is what you get when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get when you don't.

Discussion is locked

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Re:SOME TRUE FACTS
Feb 26, 2004 3:55AM PST

LOL, here's another one:

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, an amateur built the ark; a team of professionals built the Titanic.

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Reminds me of a committee...
Feb 26, 2004 7:30PM PST

If God was process oriented, the Book of Genesis might read something like this:

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, so God created a small committee. He carefully balanced the committee vis-a-vis race, gender, ethnic origin, and economic status in order to interface pluralism with the holistic concept of self-determination according to adjudicatory guidelines.

Even God was impressed, and so ended the first day.

And God said, "Let the committee draw up a mission statement." And behold, the committee decided to prioritize and strategize and God called that process empowerment. And God thought it sounded pretty good.

And evening and morning were the second day.

And God said, "Let the committee determine goals and objectives and engage in long-term planning." Unfortunately, a debate about the semantic differences between goals and objectives pre-empted almost all of the third day. Although the question was never satisfactorily resolved, God thought the process was constructive.

And evening and morning were the third day.

And God said, "Let there be a retreat in which the committee can envision functional organization and engage in planning by objectives." The committee considered adjustment of priorities and consequential alternatives to program directions, and God saw that this was good. And God thought that it was even worth all of the coffee and donuts that he had to supply.

And so ended the fourth day.

And God said, "Let the committee be implemented with long-range planning and strategy." The committee considered guidelines and linkages and structural sensitivities, and alternatives and implemental models. And God saw that this was very democratic.

And so would have ended the fifth day, except for the unintentional renewal of the debate about the differences between goals and objectives.

On the sixth day the committee agreed on criteria for adjudicatory assessment and evaluation. This wasn't the agenda that God had planned. He wasn't able to attend, however, because he had to take the afternoon off to create day and night and heaven and earth and seas and plants and stars and trees and seasons and years and sun and moon and birds and fish and animals and human beings.

On the seventh day God rested and the committee submitted its recommendations. It turned out that the recommended forms for things were nearly identical to the way that God had created them; so the committee passed a resolution commending God for his implementation according to the guidelines. There was, however, some opinion expressed that people should have been created in the committee's image.

And God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the committee ...

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Re:SOME TRUE FACTS
Feb 26, 2004 4:10AM PST

Hi Rosalie

Unreal. I can't stop laughing here. My wife is out in the living room yelling. "you flipping out in there or what"

You Folks are something else. I love it.

George

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Glad you enjoyed it, George. The first time I read it I also laughed out loud.
Feb 26, 2004 7:19PM PST

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By the time I got to the bottom I was in tears.

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Some very good ones. The one about short speech sounded like a Twain'ism.(nt)
Feb 26, 2004 7:21AM PST

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I just recently found a site where you can .....
Feb 26, 2004 7:51PM PST
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Mark Twain
Mar 1, 2004 2:40PM PST

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. -- Mark Twain

http://www.mtwain.com/Innocents_Abroad/0.html

Innocents Abroad; chap 10
Captain Duncan made a good speech; he made the only good speech of the evening. He said: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN:--May we all live to a green old age and be prosperous and happy. Steward, bring up another basket of champagne." It was regarded as a very able effort.


Mark Twain has words of encouragement for all those who fear that they are the only people who get nervous about speaking in public - 'There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars'.

"The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause."

Mark Twain, a very noted speaker, was once asked if he could prepare a speech for an upcoming engagement and he responded: "If you want me to speak for an hour, I am ready today. If you want me to speak for just a few minutes, it will take me a few weeks to prepare."

Mark Twain once said, that a good speech should have a good beginning and an interesting end - but most important - both should be as close together as possible.

"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them."


"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."

Could he have been speaking of Evolution in the below quote?

"There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact."


I like this one;
"A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes."

On telling the truth.
"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know."

"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."

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"A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." - That's a good one James - worth remembering!! NT
Mar 1, 2004 3:10PM PST

NT

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Thanks Rosalie - I have saved them in my PIM as words of wisdom! NT
Feb 26, 2004 7:29AM PST

NT

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Thinking about all the great things that you have learned recently Rosalie, here is another one
Feb 26, 2004 3:55PM PST

"It's never to late to learn something new."

Blake has been very proud of you in what you have accomplished recently. Happy

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Very true. Hardly a day goes by that I don't learn something new.
Feb 26, 2004 7:43PM PST

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I'm very grateful to Blake for taking the time and having the patience to help me accomplish many projects lately.

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Re:Very true. Hardly a day goes by that I don't learn something new.
Feb 27, 2004 1:50PM PST

Hi Rosalie,
When it comes to helping people Blake has a very kind heart.
I am glad you are still learning - It really is good for the brain to be studying new things.