Some days it doesn't pay to get up...

Last week my Son and one of his crew with rakes and my tractor cleaned up the whole yard. Looks beautiful. Wonderful kids. Always ready to help the old man out.

Yesterday I decided to over seed parts of the yard and fertilize like I do every year about this time. Problem is, I have to drag oxygen around with me this year. Now I only have two hands and can't breathe, walk, and talk all at the same time. So I rigged up a back pack for the small O2 tank to keep my two hands free to drive the tractor and spread the seed all at the same time. Once I had that all rigged up, I jumped on and proceeded to fire the old machine up. Now when my Son put it away it was running great. Now that I need it, its dead as a door nail. Batt. is 2 years old and I didn't take it out last winter like I always do. So, I crawled off, dug out the battery charger, dragged an extension cord from the old shed to this big shed down back. Battery would not take a charge because it was all charged up. Now I'm all out of wind, panting like a hound dog. Had to sit down for 15 min. or more to get my wind back.

Once the breathing all settled down, I got the wrenches out, cleaned up all the connections, checked all the wires, whacked the starter a couple times. Still, no life in it. By now I noticed my breathing was getting a little tough. Checked the gauge on my tank. Damn, its empty. Luckily I had my cell phone with me cause I probably wouldn't be able make back to the house. Called up the wife to ask her to bring me down another tank of air. Right away she starts yelling at me. Where the hell are you. I'm down in the big shed dear. I hear a bunch of swearing on the phone, but after a few minutes she brings down the tank. Changed tanks, got some air going again. But now I have to take another 15 min. break, all the time listening to the wife yell at me and swear at the tractor.

Now, while I'm sitting there getting a fresh batch of air, I happen to notice the lever to engage the cutting deck was all the way forward. My lovable Son left it in gear when he parked it in the shed. I disengaged it, and it started up with a roar. #$@#&*%@#. By now, I'm fried. I shut everything down, Shut doors on the shed. Went up to the house and took a nap. The hell with the seed. Birds would probably eat it all up anyway.

George (highly disgusted)