[ The Case of the "FAULTY DEFRAGER" ]
OK, this is gonna be a real LONG... one... Writing this on NOTEPAD and hope to heck I can cut and paste it
to the forum or I've wasted a lot of time. Should work, but haven't tried it here before. With my luck,
who knows....I hope the forum can accept a message this long, its almost a book.
If it does work, grab a drink, sit back, and see if you can figure out the obvious solution before I
did. The clues of what I tried along the way almost scream the solution....
Let me know if you figure it out ahead of time.......
(Can you tell, I always wanted to be a mystery writer?... ROFLMAO!)
Our story starts with this anal retentive (but good looking!) guy who fixes computers (usually).
Our hero.. (again...ROFLMAO) lives by the philosophy of Sherlock Holmes (& Spock)
who said, "when all the obvious fails"..., (be damned if I can remember the rest of the quote,
but know you've heard it before) He obsesses over the littlest computer problem and won't give up till
he solves it by any means necessary, no matter how long it takes. He believes if something doesn't work,
then there is another solution that will. There is always another solution if you can just think of it.
He thinks "outside the box" (Maybe cause he ain't smart enough to think inside the box?)
So, having a slightly defragmented drive which neither the Windows defragger nor his outside defragger
will cure, our hero decides to download a 3rd defrag program from the internet, thinking this will
solve all his problems. Imagine the shock and indignation of the poor guy
(who apparently hasn't discovered spell check yet) when this new defrag program actually makes
it over 20 times worse! Extremely frustrated, Seeking vengence, and wanting to warn anyone else
from making the same mistake, he logs onto the site he got the program from and rants and raves
about what has happened. Not knowing the circumstances, and seeing this strange message, the regulars
on this site of course think he's "a few fries short of a happy meal!"
But they take the time and consideration to try and help him. All offering help and suggestions.
Nothing works.... He tries the built in restore program as well as the 3rd party restore program he had
installed. He runs chkdsk/f (checkdisk), the virus and spyware scanners, RegEdit and EVERYTHING
he can think of. Each thing reduces the defrag level just a tiny little bit. He keeps running DKLite,
his 3rd party defragger after each attempt but it only removes a few. For some reason, each time he
runs it, it removes 2 or 3 more. So, he keeps running it. Against logic, it removes a couple more each
time he runs it, while you think it should have done it all the first time. After running it about 18
times,it quits having any benefit. So, he finally thinks defrag ain't gonna help no more, what else
could he do? he doesn't believe the drive is ready to crash and can think of nothing else to try at
first. Racking whats left of his addled brain, and grasping at straws, he remembers that the last time
he logged onto JUNO (his backup email program) the modem handshake sounded really strange and it took
much longer to connect as well as being slower. Hmmm.. maybe this is an indication/cause/sympton of
the problem/solution, he wisely deduces..<LOL>. besides, theres not much else to try at this point.
So, he deletes JUNO, downloads a new copy and then runs the defrag program yet again.
20% of the newly defragmented files dissappear! (OK, thats your 2nd clue to the solution, got it yet?)
Wow, he thinks, I got it, its not the drive thats fragmented, its some programs on it!
Knowing he just spent 2 hours downloading the new ADOBE a month ago, he knew it was a large file
and since deleting a small program helped, maybe deleting a bigger program would help.
At this point, he was ready to try anything. So he deleted ADOBE, downloaded a new copy, and ran
defrag again! Another 15 to 20 % of the defragmentation level dissappeared!
(OK, at this point the solution is hitting you/us over the head! (Got It yet?)
OK, here it is....
At this point our hero knew he was finally on the right track!
"Gee," he said, "If there was only SOME way I could tell which files/programs were fragmented,
I could delete them, and get a new copy." If there was only some way to know which files had the
fragments in them.
Then he heard a little voice saying, "Read the defragment report, *******!"
Thats what he did and he saw exactly which programs to replace and he lived happily everafter!
Hope you enjoyed it! Who got the answer before the end?
It sure took me long enough! LOL
Problem solved, but it did leave a couple new questions.... which I will post in the help forum
tomorrow. Thanks everyone for your suggestions!
Good night guys/