1- You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
2- You have to hold on to the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
3- Your job starts to interfere with your drinking.
4- Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
5- The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
6- You sincerely believe alcohol is the elusive 5th food group.
7- 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?!?!?
8- You complain that you have two hands and just one mouth to drink with.
9- Every woman you see has an identical twin.
10- You fall off the floor.
11- The shrubbery around your house is drunk too, from frequent watering.
12- Your idea of cutting back is having less salt with your tequila.
13- Every night, you're beginning to find your neighbor's cat more and more attractive.
14- Roseanne looks good to you.
15- You've fallen and can't get up.
16- You don't recognize your wife unless seen from the bottom of a glass.
17- You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.
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