Samsung Galaxy Note 2 acting weird. Help?

Ok, it all started when I realised that my phone couldn't type Chinese even though I had set it as one of my language inputs. The little arrows on the side of the space bar are still there, but when I press on it for some time nothing pops up. I looked up online for some help and followed a set of instructions. I don't remember what were they, but I vaguely recall something about turning on Touchwiz. I tried that (and probably some other stuff I don't remember) but it didn't work. Now my phone has a slew of weird stuff going on:

1)I can't swipe up, down, left or right. So right now it's stuck at the home screen. It's also incredibly laggy now.

2)The phone now announces it every action in a creepy British female voice. Like when something is updating, it will say "updating app so-and-so" out loud in that creepy British female voice. Muting it doesn't work.

3)Tapping any apps now causes phone to highlight it and read its name out loud in that voice. I now need to double tap the apps in order to open them.

4)It wasn't there before, but now there is a hand-shaped icon on the top right corner on the screen. I've no idea what it is. I'm guessing it has something to do with my phones' situation right now but I haven't found anything yet on google.

If anyone can help I'd be very thankful. Thank you very much in advance.