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It's good to see you back in SE, I've missed you. How have you been?
1. Two peanuts walk into a bar and one was a salted.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please and one for the road."
6. Two aerial antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
7. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at, either.
8. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
9. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No bet, the steaks are too high."
10. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
12. Two termites walk into a bar. One asked, "Is the bar tender here?"

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