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General discussion

Pun wars (2)

Mar 16, 2004 1:55PM PST

1. Two peanuts walk into a bar and one was a salted.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please and one for the road."

6. Two aerial antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

7. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at, either.

8. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

9. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No bet, the steaks are too high."

10. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

12. Two termites walk into a bar. One asked, "Is the bar tender here?"

Discussion is locked

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Hi Ian, I'm reading all your jokes and you have outdone yourself this time!
Mar 16, 2004 5:30PM PST

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It's good to see you back in SE, I've missed you. How have you been?

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Thx Rosalie
Mar 16, 2004 7:48PM PST

I've been well.

Broke. Sold my car to pay bills. Just passed the 2,500 jobs applied for. But, overall, OK.

Economies - who'd have 'em?? Happy

Its now official: I suffer from "Fear of Failure", due to every achievement of the past 30 years being abolished by sale of my employer, total outsourcing my department, or "political reprioritisation". Oh, and getting a sexist female boss last round.

Anyhow, touch wood, it looks as if when we get through the bureacratic processes, say 3 - 6 months, we will be a family day care centre for young kids. Susie will be the boss, I'll be the assistant who attends all the training courses, which gets around the stuff up in my brain and will generate some real income.

Whooppee!

Regards,

and thanks for your post below, I'd been away from the forum. Jonah probably explained it well enough. A mod emailed a link to your thread.

IanC/OZ

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Ian, the day care centre sounds like a wonderful idea!
Mar 16, 2004 10:30PM PST

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I wish you and Suzie all the luck in the world. The day care centres I know of around here are all very successful. They are a lot of work but I know you don't shy away from work. I'm so glad for you that something is finally jelling.

May all the good and positive spirits be with you and Susie in this endeavor.

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nt) thank you :-)
Mar 17, 2004 9:37AM PST

,

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Re: Pun wars (2)
Mar 16, 2004 9:24PM PST

Hi, Ian.

Good to see you again!

Two blondes walk into a bar. Ouch! Ouch!

-- Dave K, Speakeasy Moderator
click here to email semods4@yahoo.com

The opinions expressed above are my own,
and do not necessarily reflect those of CNET!

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It took me a full minute to get that joke and I'm not even blonde. ;-) -nt
Mar 17, 2004 4:47AM PST

,

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Re: I'm not even blonde -- so what *is* your explanation?(NT ;-)
Mar 17, 2004 12:08PM PST

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I was half asleep? -nt
Mar 17, 2004 7:05PM PST

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