I set it to notify me when there are updates and then I pick and chose which to download and install or hide.
So far I have not had a problem with that method.
I have checked the box in the windows update folder that says "Download updates but let me choose whether to install them" Some times I get notified of downloads and other times I do not. But no matter what it seems that when I shut down my computer for the night it installs the update whether I want it or not.

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