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Prayers needed for James' and his mom

Last weekend, James Denison's mother became ill and went into the hospital. Nothing concrete was wrong with her except for somewhat elevated potassium counts and a slight fever. She was insistent that she was going to die, and nothing could convince her to the contrary.

On Tuesday, she had a stroke which left her incapacitated. I'll leave the rest of the story to James' own words here, except to say she is barely clinging to life and has lost even the small gains she has had. James has cared for her for years now, and has been a fabulous and caring son. Unlike most requests for prayers to heal in here, prayers would be appreciated that whatever is right happen soon, so that she either heals from her vegetative state, or that her passing comes swiftly and painlessly if she is not to recover.

Here is how James explained the situation he is going through a couple of days ago (by the next day, she had lost all motor activity and is unable to open her eyes, lying in what appears to be a vegetative state):

"Mom, who has diabetes and kidney problems, she gets dialysis 3 times weekly, went into the local hospital this past Sunday morning, predawn hours.

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Prayers are on the way......

In reply to: Prayers needed for James' and his mom

Gods will in this situation. And prayers that James will be strong enough to deal with what comes
Glenda

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May whatever will be best be quickly done,

In reply to: Prayers needed for James' and his mom

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Thoughts and prayers with James and his family

In reply to: Prayers needed for James' and his mom

You are right, James has been a terrific, caring and loving son to his mom for years. Should all mothers be so blessed.

May the family be filled with strength, acceptance and comfort.

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(NT) (NT) May God's love, wisdom, and mercy be apparent.

In reply to: Prayers needed for James' and his mom

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(NT) (NT) Prayers are going for his Mom and the family.

In reply to: Prayers needed for James' and his mom

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Re: Prayers needed for James' and his mom

In reply to: Prayers needed for James' and his mom

When my seven month old grandson had a massive stroke, the forum angels and prayers worked miracles for him and although still in physical therapy for speech, and hand strengthing, he's an active, speaking, running child today of five. At the time of his stroke, it was difficult to know which way would be the best route for him and it was left up to God's will and we would accept that.

I hope James and the family, and his mother get the best route as well.

TONI

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(NT) (NT) Prayers and good thoughts offered

In reply to: Prayers needed for James' and his mom

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Good luck James

In reply to: Prayers needed for James' and his mom

I lost my mom 2 weeks ago today and we didn't get to say goodbye. She went suddenly from an aneurism. Cherish the time you have.

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Re: Good luck James

In reply to: Good luck James

So sorry to hear that, Clay! This is a very rough time for you. She no doubt knew how much you loved her and still do. That is all that counts, not the last words spoken. Prayers your way as well in the healing process ahead!

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(NT) (NT) Thank You

In reply to: Re: Good luck James

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(NT) (NT) My sympathies and condolences to you and your family al

In reply to: Good luck James

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(NT) (NT) Thank you

In reply to: (NT) My sympathies and condolences to you and your family al

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To Everyone

In reply to: Good luck James

While I appreciate your condolences please don't let my post here hi-jack the thread for James. I only wanted to convey to him that your time with loved ones will expire before you know it.

Thank you,
Clay

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Re: To Everyone

In reply to: To Everyone

It's not hijacking the thread by a long shot, Clay. We've all either been there, or will likely have to face this some day. My last time of facing this was three and a half years ago with my mother and it went along the same lines as James' mother's journey, but a bit faster.

This message is one I sent to James via Email a couple of hours ago. I can only hope that it helps you or others in a similar situation face the passages ahead:

Get whatever rest you can. You'll be emotionally all over the place for quite a while, no matter what happens now. There's a feeling of emptiness mingled with pain beyond anything that you have ever imagined that has no doubt set in. It will get better when she finally passes, just for a bit, since that is a resolution to the situation and your inability to do something has also come to a close, because she is now in the best hands possible. But then the pain and emptiness comes back, as you feel like you're mentally going from room to room, looking and searching for something, but not finding it. You'll figure it shouldn't be like that, because you knew it was coming, was for the best under the circumstances, and for any number of other reasons.

Probably the worst is looking at things. Things that she had. Things that she used. Things that you realize don't represent her at all, but do represent a life that no longer exists for any of you. I'd suggest closing off her room and her things for a couple of days until you can cope a bit better. Not that it will be that much better in a couple of days, but you will have a tiny bit of perspective by then. Before you do that, choose the dress or outfit she would most like to wear and whatever other items she might want to have for her final rest, or delegate to [your wife] and the girls if you feel it's more appropriate. Perhaps [your yongest, preschool-aged daughter] can even make her a card or picture to take to Heaven with her, so [your youngest daughter] feels somehow that she has been helpful to Grandma.

You'll reach a point of dullness inside finally, or so it seems, but the hurt goes on all around that core of dullness for a very long time. Expect it to go on slowly receding for a year, and then finally getting to a point where you feel you have reached a state of healing yourself, or at least true acceptance in two years. It's a long process and it is not helped if you beat yourself up over what might have been along the way. Be grateful that you had a chance to be with her and that it is not a situation where, like some families, the loved one walks out the door with words left unsaid, and they never return again.

The understanding I got from my mother as her spirit left, was that none of the petty emotions that we have on this planet matter anymore. There is no resentment for words that either were said or went unsaid. There is no anger, no ugly emotions at all - only a supreme happiness and total peace that leaves no room for anything but love. Your mother will understand totally how much you love her and always have, and she will be shed of all the earthly issues. It is up to you to rid yourself of any feelings that you wish things had worked out otherwise or that things had gone differently. Whenever you catch yourself thinking that you wish you had said or done something different though, know that she understands entirely that we are human and that you did your best, and it was done with love, so absolutely nothing else matters. She has an understanding we are incapable of now since she has risen above those emotions. Your mom is probably already feeling the call and is experiencing the extreme peace that sets in. It will be a blessed relief for her when she is finally able to leave entirely. You, on the other hand, will likely be a wreck for a while. Get rest and find your inner core of peace so that you will have some to share with your family too, as they each grieve in their own way.

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FWIW I think that ...

In reply to: To Everyone

James will understand that you are trying to tell him that you understand how he feels.

IMO it never hurts to know that one is not alone and I am sure that your post will exemplify that James is not alone at this time.

As I (and others of course) wish you best, I am sure that James does also - I suspect he will see this as a meeting of like minds

Regards
Mo

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FWIW ...

In reply to: Good luck James

Dear Clay

First I am of course very sorry to hear of your loss. I castigated myself many times that I should have done this or said that - and with hindsight it is very easy to say that one fell short of how it might have been different. I don't think one ever truly gets over the unfairness of the reality - my rationalisation is that whatever I had done, come the event, I would always with hindsight wish that things had been different or that I had done more. It is an argument with yourself that you can never win, and just over time have to come to terms with that reality. However, as Diana said, the comfort over the years is so much more important. What happens at the last minute is out of any of our hands, and we cannot change that. It is very hard, and one has to rely on the expression that time is the greatest healer and one just has to bide one's time.

My very best regards
Mo

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(NT) (NT) Thank you

In reply to: FWIW ...

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Clay...

In reply to: Good luck James

I am so sorry for your loss.

Do not regret not saying good-bye. What really mattered to your Mom is that you were a loving son, and that she raised you well.

Angeline
click here to email semods4@yahoo.com

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Thank you

In reply to: Clay...

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Re: Good luck James

In reply to: Good luck James

Clay, so sorry to hear of your Mothers passing. I will add you to my prayer list in your time of grief!
Glenda

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(NT) (NT) Thank you

In reply to: Re: Good luck James

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I'm very sorry for your lose, Clay.

In reply to: Good luck James

Right foot - left foot. Carry on, buddy. A time for forgiveness.

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Thank you

In reply to: I'm very sorry for your lose, Clay.

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i didnt know that clay

In reply to: Good luck James

i lost my mom in 87 you wont ever forget her and shes looking over u now

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(NT) (NT) Thank you

In reply to: i didnt know that clay

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Re: Good luck James

In reply to: Good luck James

Hi, Clay.

>>I lost my mom 2 weeks ago today<<
So sorry to hear that -- prayers for you and your family (she's presumably in a better place).

-- Dave K, Speakeasy Moderator
click here to email semods4@yahoo.com

The opinions expressed above are my own,
and do not necessarily reflect those of CNET!

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Thank You

In reply to: Re: Good luck James

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Re: Prayers needed for James' and his mom

In reply to: Prayers needed for James' and his mom

James, you and Mom have our thoughts and prayers. God be with you both.

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(NT) (NT) consider my good thought go out to them all

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Re: Prayers and sympathy for James and his mom

In reply to: Prayers needed for James' and his mom

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