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Poll: Advice given you when you were young

Was thinking about some stuff recently, and it caused me to recall some advice that my Mom gave me when I was young that I still fall back on today.

What things were you told when you were a youngster that are still an important part of life for you today?

Two things that help me muchly:

1. A mistake is a mistake until you learn from it; then it becomes an experience.
This one has helped me alot when I have found myself kicking my own butt for screwing up. If I have learned from it, and can avoid repeating it, then I can quit stressing over the fact that I made a bad decision initially. (Thanks Mom Happy )

2. The rule of 5 (when stressing about something, especially in deciding to take action or not): Will this be something important in 5 hours? 5 days? 5 weeks? 5 months? 5 years? .... the more answers that are ''Yes,'' the greater the need to act, as opposed to leaving something be. If the majority of answers are ''No,'' then I am likely headed toward taking an action that will only cause more stress.

What little tidbits of wisdom from the past do you have to share?

--Marcia Grin


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Don't spend a dime

In reply to: Poll: Advice given you when you were young

figuring whos fault it was, spend a dollar figuring how to make it right. Stay positive.

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I like that one

In reply to: Don't spend a dime

I will share it with my son that is preparing to graduate from HS in just a few days (June 4).

Maybe he will pass it along to his kids some day Happy


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Congrats to Orion!

In reply to: I like that one

You may have posted and I've forgotten, but what's his plan for after graduation?

Evie Happy

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That's a very good one

In reply to: Don't spend a dime

My folks' advice on mistakes was perhaps worded differently than Marcia's but to similar effect. You can't change the past, only the future. So there is no use dwelling on it (something I have to kick myself on though :(). Put energy wasted on that dwelling into constructive efforts to improve the future.

Evie Happy

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Some advice I've found from

In reply to: That's a very good one

others over the years:

Keep your words soft and sweet..you may have to eat them.

Pick your fights carefully and let the other stuff slide.

Nothing is fair...but sometimes you break even.

Investigate everything in detail before passing judgment.

It matter not how other people live or think...it's how they treat YOU that matters.

Always keep/know friends who are in high places and low places...you never know when you might need either one.


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I grew up believing I was the oddball

In reply to: Poll: Advice given you when you were young

in our family (both immediate and extended via aunts, uncles, etc) because I felt that family helped each other and supported one another.

Not in my family...and it was years later that I recalled my older sister telling a friend of hers that 'in our family, once you dropped out into the daylight you were on your own, so you better figure out in a hurry how to survive and solve your own problems'. This literally was the case and I came to terms with it after going to therapy when trying to learn how to deal with my young children when their dad(s) died.

My mother's favorite saying until she got married for the second time later in life was 'you made your bed, you lie in it'....after she remarried, it then became 'I can't help you, my husband said no'. I discovered after her death recently that poor Marty never even knew she kept those requests to herself, and he missed many years of getting to know any of us daughters as well as grandkids and great-grandkids. He's now going to those family functions that he never knew they had been invited to before.

I finally realized that I was actually the only 'normal' one of the bunch and should have been grateful all those years that I had my nose pressed up against the window wishing to be invited to their 'party' that they never noticed me. lol

My daughters and son have been raised to stick together no matter what and they actually DO depend on each other for help and give it right back. Even when they are fighting, they will go to their aid in a heartbeat without being asked.

The only advice I have totally discarded since I became computer saavy is 'read the instructions' because I've found that most manuals can't be understood by anybody no matter what part of the world you live in.


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is this how you feel about manuals?

In reply to: I grew up believing I was the oddball

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In reply to: is this how you feel about manuals?

Believe it or not, three weeks ago my friend was assembling the dump trailer that came with my new riding mower. The very last thing to 'assemble' was the cover nut (round dome type) over the axle to hold the tire on. One side went on perfectly.....the second nut would not thread.

Went to Lowe's to pick up a new nut..tried it on another trailer that was there to make sure we got the right size, and it fit on the axle perfectly, so we thought perhaps the threads on the axle at home were stripped.

Next day, after disassembling partially to get to the axle, went back to Lowe's and they pulled another axle out of a new, sealed box and exchanged it. Came home after checking that the nut would screw down on it......and discovered that now the tires themselves wouldn't mount on that axle because immediately behind the threaded area, the axle was larger than the first one was.

Disassembled partially the next morning, put everything into my suv and hauled the whole damn thing back to Lowe's. Even exchange for a new boxed up dump trailer, and the whole thing slammed together perfectly.

Wasted a half tank of gas going back and forth for three days in a row......and the only thing to show for it was a box of used books I bought on the way home at a yard sale I was passing en route to the house.


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Much more practical.

In reply to: Poll: Advice given you when you were young

My mom, who passed away in January, was more practical with her pronouncements. The one I remember most fondly was when, at age 16, I asked her if I could subscribe to Playboy. She said no - and the reason she gave was she didn't want me growing up thinking all women had staples in their navels.

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My favorites....

In reply to: Poll: Advice given you when you were young

Don't expect others to respect, or even like you, automatically. Whether they do or not depends upon you.

When you do something wrong, and think that nobody saw it, somebody did.

Pick your battles.


click here to email semods4@yahoo.com

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