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pete is dead

by Mark5019 / February 24, 2005 10:36 PM PST

Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your
hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"

"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and
when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly
and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he
crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air
and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."

"What a horrible way to die!"

"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So,
he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in
broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old
antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for
the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging
himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing
down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his

"What a way to go, that's terrible!"

"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed
to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the
landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but
under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling
down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken
banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the
floor, sticking right through him."

"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"

"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So
he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen.
He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on
the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water,
whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most
of his skin off him."

"Man, what a way to go!"

"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the
ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and
tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he
grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall
and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got
electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."

"Now that is one awful way to go!"

"No no, he survived that..."

"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"

"I shot him!"

"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"

"He was wrecking my house."

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