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General discussion

nt) placeholder: a few jokes

Nov 19, 2003 5:17PM PST

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Discussion is locked

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Education
Nov 19, 2003 5:18PM PST

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat and was for distribution of all wealth. She felt deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican which she expressed openly.

One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to higher taxes on the rich &more welfare programs. In the middle of her heart felt diatribe based upon the lectures she had from her far left professors at her school, he stopped her and asked her point blank, how she was doing in school.

She answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain. That she had to study all the time, never had time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because of spending all her time studying. That she was taking a more difficult curriculum.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Mary."

She replied, "Mary is barely getting by." She continued, "All she has is barely a 2.0 GPA," adding, "and all she takes are easy classes and she never studies." But to explain further she continued emotionally, "But Mary is so very popular on campus, college for her is a blast, she goes to all the parties all the time and very often doesn't even show up for classes because she is too hung over."

Her father then asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your 4.0 GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2. 0." He continued, "That way you will both have a 3. 0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair equal distribution of GPA."

The daughter visibly shocked by the father?s suggestion angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be fair! I worked really hard for mine. I did without and Mary has done little or nothing; she played while I worked real hard!"

The father slowly smiled and said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

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Widdle Wabbit
Nov 19, 2003 5:20PM PST

Widdle Wabbits (A Thtory To Warm Your Heart)

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"

As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"

She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet pyfon weally gives a thit."

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At the airport
Nov 19, 2003 5:22PM PST

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat
embarrassed, "Doin' just fine!"

And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. "Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him,
"No........I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then I hear the guy say nervously...

"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!!"

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Re:At the airport
Nov 19, 2003 5:51PM PST

Ian,

This is the joke I was telling Dr. Bill about.

Funny one !

Tim

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I like this one
Nov 20, 2003 2:17AM PST

I've nearly done the same thing, answering someone else's conversation. Embarrassing!

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Re:I like this one
Nov 20, 2003 5:07AM PST

What's worse if a guy is when some cute gal waves at you with a big smile and so you smile back and give a hearty wave too, only to discover her attentions was directed to the handsome hunk behind you....

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(NT)Thx for a cheery start to a day.
Nov 19, 2003 10:04PM PST

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Some funnies there for sure!
Nov 19, 2003 10:54PM PST
Happy
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NT Thanks, Ian. Like the jokes in this format much better! :-)
Nov 20, 2003 2:18AM PST

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