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Looking for an instant messenger that will all me to...

Nov 15, 2007 9:25AM PST

I need an IM platform that will allow me to control memberships... Is this possible?

Basically I want to create a new group where I can control the membership for my company... Right now on yahoo groups, when someone joins they have to remove themselves.

I would like something where when any person is removed they will no longer appear on the friends list, and also be unable to access any thing I don't want them to have access to.

Is this even possible?


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Reply to: Looking for an instant messenger that will all me to...
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As another option
Nov 15, 2007 11:32AM PST

Are there any IM programs that would remove a contact on both ends? For example, if I delete a contact on my IM, then my info would be removed from that parties IM?


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I haven't used the real version for a wahil
Nov 15, 2007 12:13PM PST

There is a setting in some of them that you can tell it to allow only the people in your buddy list. Not sure if Yahoo has this. You can block the person. The person will NOT know when you are on. You cannot remove your username from their computer, they have to do this. If it's blocked, then they will NEVER see you on. They may remove it o their own.

I use Trillian to log in to my MSN, AOL and Yahoo IM accounts at the same time. When I get angry at my boss, I just block him from knowing I'm on the computer @ home. They DON"T provide me with messaging @ work so I do what I want when I'm at home.


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Nov 16, 2007 12:02AM PST

I was looking into this last night some more and from what I have found so far I don't think it will be possible. The only thing I found was Delete Buddy, which says you need to have an anti-virus program because of spyware associated with it, so I don't think it will be worth it.

Thanks for the info!

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AOL has the settings
Nov 16, 2007 8:55AM PST

to allow only people on my buddy list.


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Thanks, I don't think that will work quite right
Nov 16, 2007 9:43AM PST

What I reall would prefer is to have the ability to remove someones name from a group.

Basically, I want to create a group of people that I then have control over their IM to add/remove people from the list. This wouldn't be a personal account for the individual, but rather one for work... I've not had much luck finding what I'm looking for, at this point it doesn't seem possible.

Thanks so much for your help!

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Re: IM
Nov 16, 2007 11:30PM PST

This can't be done with the normal 'public' IM-services. So you've got to start your own. Read about jabber, for example, in

"Take control! Jabber technology enables you to run your own IM service, whether you want to host a public server or keep your messages safely behind the firewall. Thousands of organizations all over the world have freed themselves from legacy IM providers by running their own Jabber servers. Why not join them?"

Seems to be exactly what you want.


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That definitely sounds like what I need...
Nov 17, 2007 4:00AM PST

So far I've only been able to find Enterprise Instant Messaging, this seem like it may work a little better for me.

Do you know if you have to have a server to run this? I don't know if I will have problems with any of the options I have found because I have employees around the world, so I'm not sure if you need to be connected or not to control them.

Thanks again!

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Better ask your IT staff to look into this.
Nov 17, 2007 4:04AM PST

Certainly not something for newbies and amateurs to setup, in my opinion. It might need Linux and you certainly need professional security software when your server needs to be open to the whole world (but only your employees, of course).

There are other programs like this that might differ in details. But one of those details might be important for you.

Good luck with all of this.


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Thanks, it sounds like this may be a little
Nov 18, 2007 12:08AM PST

too advanced for what I need it for. But, I will keep looking to see if it will work.

Thanks for the info!

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How about Google Wave?
Jan 22, 2010 7:29PM PST

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