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Life beyond 50

LIFE BEYOND FIFTY:

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory the other two I forget.

You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work.

Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that the darndest time for a guy to get those odds?

You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.


The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.

You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.


The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.

Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

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Comments
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(NT) (NT) A lot of truth there, Patrick
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You know you're getting old when

you find you spend most of your 'awake' hours here in Speakeasy........

TONI

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Being gainfully employed

I only spend work hours here - I have better things to do with my free time Happy

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(NT) (NT) LOL!
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(NT) (NT) Awright, where's that "report offensive post" button? :
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Good advice for over 60

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the
intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,

but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Angeline


click here to email semods4@yahoo.com

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a big AMEN to that, and Patrick....
you should be banned for being so cruel....

Wink

.
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True story:

I bought something at a Radio Shack from a 20-something woman. As she handed me my receipt, she said, "Here you are, dear."
Regards, Doug old in New Mexico

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And next

time she'll pat you on the head... Happy

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No alcohol hangovers
You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

Duh if I don't feel that one often enough now.

And what a ripoff, to feel hungover and never had the drunk.

JMO

Roger

click here to email semods4@yahoo.com
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(NT) (NT) Life beyond 50...is all in the mind.
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Yes, for you CL

because you're not there yet.... and the next few decades ain't no picnic either.... Happy

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(NT) (NT) Bingo! :-)
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heeehehhehh MKay

I'll get back to you and explain what I meant with the phrase I quoted...

In anycase, I don't know what you meant I'm not there yet? Is age a race of what? aches and pains, cellulites and wrinkles? immobility? limitation of what?

CL
hope to get it done sometime today Wink

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Gravity is the worst enemy of over 50 bunch

Unfortunately, the ONLY part of the anatomy that doesn't get a benefit from gravity is the part that most men wish gravity WOULD affect.

TONI

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(NT) (NT) And thanks for pointing that out:-)
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I've always heard that memory is the second thing to go.

No one can ever remember what the first thing was.

Devil

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50 +

"Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that the darndest time for a guy to get those odds? "

At that point, who would care !

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