JOKE!!

Dear WinXP forum

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 ..and noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as ASL 5.0, AFL 4.3, NBL 3.0, and NFL 3.6. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate
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Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Try to enter the command: C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME" to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. BUT remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.

CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

P.S. Boyfriend 5.0 was also shareware, and ran on many other platforms. Husband 1.0 is a single installation package, and provides security options unavailable under Boyfriend 5.0.