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jk: 'Holy Dead Duck, Batman!'

by IanC_OZ / March 31, 2004 4:21 PM PST

A woman brought a very limp duck into the vet's surgery. As she laid her duck on the table, the vet pulled out his Stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed lady cried, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any tests or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few moments later with a perky black Labrador. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the table and sniffed the duck all over. He then looked at the vet, and with sad eyes, shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out.

He returned a few moments later, this time with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and sniffed carefully at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman.

Still in shock, she took the bill from him. "$500!", she screamed. "$500 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged his shoulders, "I'm sorry," he said..."If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $50, but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan.............."

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