I know that it is all in vogue now to complain about Microsoft's automatic updates. These are NOT "out of your control" and your lack of awareness here seems to indicate that you might be among those for whom automatic updates are most essential.
There are dozens if not hundreds of little applications that will accomplish the task of disabling automatic updates for you. They are (as far as I know) all freeware and you can find many to choose from at clearinghouse sources like Majorgeeks.com.
But disabling this feature is very unwise, even for experienced users. Most Microsoft updates are issued to patch security vulnerabilities, many others are to improve performance, and some are to add features. Theses are all things you either need or want.
Sure, there are occasionally minor annoyances. Major updates like 1809, for some reason only Microsoft knows, will do weird things like delete your Windows 7 games like FreeCell. I do wish they'd cut that out, but it is a simple matter to reinstall them, and they do not delete your records.
And, like all human entities and endeavors, Microsoft is not perfect. Occasionally an update will contain a minor glitch. But these are always minor, and Microsoft is quick to correct them and provides excellent support, particularly with installation issues.
I know you feel you are ceding some measure of control, but sometimes it is actually OK to trust the pros, and when it comes to operating systems, Microsoft is as pro as it gets.