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Is there a new etiquette re correspondence?

Is anybody here offended to receive a thank you note, response to an invitation or other message delivered via email rather than a phone call or snail mail? As long as I'm confident my email will be received by the person I'm sending it to, I prefer the ease and speed of email to sitting down and writing a more formal note.

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(NT) E-Mail is rude

In reply to: Is there a new etiquette re correspondence?

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Email can not take the place of...

In reply to: Is there a new etiquette re correspondence?

... a hand written note. The irony though, is that so many of us were never taught the skills required for beautiful hand writing as people were taught 50/60 years ago. I also have to say that repetitive motion injury has taken away some dexterity in my hands... injury that has come from typing and mousing!

Still. email can be an effective and delightful way of communicating with friends and family if thoughtfully done. But that is just the problem with instant communication... people do not put much thought into what they say. I have seen many misunderstandings and some hurt feelings occur because of a quickly written note that was poorly expressed or worse yet, sent to the wrong person.

Another example of bad email etiquette is mass mailings. How many of you folks reading this use the BCC: function when addressing emails. How many of you know what it actually does? Did you know that the BCC function allows you to send out an email to multiple people... but each one is delivered showing only the name of the recipient? You can email a thousand people and each one gets an email that appears to be only addressed to that one person. If each chain mail junkie out there would use the BCC function then spam marketers would never get as many email addresses as they do.

The only bad thing about email (to my way of thinking) is never knowing if it got through. Did your message end up trapped by a spam filter... or is your "friend" ignoring you. Do you call them then? What if they were ignoring you? What an awkward phone call that may be!

Still, you should never text message that you are filing for divorce like Mrs Federline did. But that brings to mind something here. Miss Sasha Tee? Are you tipping us off as to what generation you are from? Your question is about how appropriate an email is... if you were from generation Z, would you even be asking that question... or would your question be how appropriate text messaging someone is?

I wonder if college kids and teen agers break up with each other nowadays by announcing it on MySpace or FaceBook?


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Hi Grim

In reply to: Email can not take the place of...

I'm from the Pepsi generation LOL. I graduated from high school, took a few courses including English Lit at Rutgers in New Brunswick and I'm a very modern grandmother of an 8 year old named Nicholas. I do value proper communication, but I have to admit I am every bit as happy receiving messages via email as I am with other forms. I posed this question after reading an article which made me think about this subject.

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I know that much of the information for historians

In reply to: Hi Grim

has come from letters. I think we'll miss a lot now that people write fewer letters.

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All my Christmas cards were.....

In reply to: Is there a new etiquette re correspondence?

....email this year. If they wanted something on the mantle,
they could print it out. I may send out hardcopy next year though.

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Re greeting cards

In reply to: All my Christmas cards were.....

Hi James,
I sometimes create a simple greeting card and send it attached or embedded in email. It seems more personal and safer these days than to have the recipient pick up a card at an unknown site. Either way, it's always nice to be thought of with a special greeting.

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Good manners still exist.

In reply to: Is there a new etiquette re correspondence?

Invitations I send and receive have an RSVP, either by a phone number, or a card for response or a "regrets only card.

Amazing how many don't know what RSVP means, or they ignore it. That's bad because the host doesn't know how many guests to be fed, chairs available, etc. Very rude to not respond.

No need to acknowledge a wedding invitation unless it includes your being invited to the reception. Then you must respond.

Brides have a year to acknowledge gifts. They are always via snail mail.

Thank yous for gifts are always by snail mail.

I do think it is OK to email "Your package arrived today! Thanks! More later!"

I also think it would be OK if one becomes suddenly ill. A quick email, to be followed by snail mail.

I belong to a small group that exchanges "more than a card" gifts at Christmas. We thank each other right then in person.

Our neighborhood association uses email for invitations to the social activities. But that's a whole bunch of people. Happy

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I use and prefer hard wire, no call-waiting telephone

In reply to: Is there a new etiquette re correspondence?

for everything I can not do in person. I will return all rsvp's in the form received. follow-up phone call after a reasonable expected delivery date. it takes a few seconds and all is on record. good time for last minute details also.

I still receive occasional letters from old friends and they have a special quality. when one sits down and takes the time to write it is a very unselfish act. I usually save them and read when there are no other distractions.

the same debate probably occurred when the phone replaced most letter writing that was of a personal nature.

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