Speakeasy forum

General discussion

Is it just my thinking, or is this rude?

by MarciaB / November 26, 2004 9:38 AM PST

I was lurking around over in the Holiday Shopping Q&A forum, and noticed an inordinate number of posts that had the original post, a good response from someone, then nothing else.

I told Orion I thought this was extremely rude of the original poster. They ask a question, someone takes the time to answer, then - nothing. Not a "thank you," or anything to let the responder know that his/her time and effort was appreciated. Sad

I know that on occasion a poster "loses" a post. If I have a "busy day of posting" I can forget one that someone may have responded to. I also know that alot of people, in particular folks new to the forums, will post the same question in several forums and then only focus on one when responses come in.

I just felt the need to say something. I think our Mods, and other forum members that take the time to help out others, deserve a bit more respect than that.

There - I feel better now Grin


.

Discussion is locked
You are posting a reply to: Is it just my thinking, or is this rude?
The posting of advertisements, profanity, or personal attacks is prohibited. Please refer to our CNET Forums policies for details. All submitted content is subject to our Terms of Use.
Track this discussion and email me when there are updates

If you're asking for technical help, please be sure to include all your system info, including operating system, model number, and any other specifics related to the problem. Also please exercise your best judgment when posting in the forums--revealing personal information such as your e-mail address, telephone number, and address is not recommended.

You are reporting the following post: Is it just my thinking, or is this rude?
This post has been flagged and will be reviewed by our staff. Thank you for helping us maintain CNET's great community.
Sorry, there was a problem flagging this post. Please try again now or at a later time.
If you believe this post is offensive or violates the CNET Forums' Usage policies, you can report it below (this will not automatically remove the post). Once reported, our moderators will be notified and the post will be reviewed.
Collapse -
I hope "Thank You" has not gone out of style
by Steven Haninger / November 26, 2004 9:41 AM PST

And, BTW, thanks for bringing this up. Happy

Collapse -
Re: I hope "Thank You" has not gone out of style
by MarciaB / November 26, 2004 10:06 AM PST

I hope it hasn't either, Steven.

It just seems a common courtesy - but maybe the anonymity of the Net gives some the feeling that this isn't necessary as they aren't really conversing with a "real person." Sad

I can only hope they are more courteous in real life.


.

Collapse -
Actually in some older forums, they requested no thanks
by Roger NC / November 26, 2004 12:01 PM PST

in the sense of having messages all over the place just saying thanks.

In the old Zdnet school boards, the custom was to close a post with TIA, thanks in advance, when asking a question.

Of course, I don't think there was a NT function then.

Imagine opening up posts again and again with just thanks in the reply box? espcially on dialup?

RogerNC

click here to email semods4@yahoo.com

Collapse -
Good points, Roger
by drpruner / November 27, 2004 12:52 AM PST

I still have dialup, but everything else is faster these days. And I don't remember an NT function in those days. (BTW, ZDnet charged actual cash money for access, separately from any Compuserve or Prodigy fees. Remember Prodigy?)

Speaking of NT et al., I'm amazed at the software behind the CNET forums. It's very handy, even for long threads. Some unsung developer team deserves thanks for that!

I still don't see the the vertical thread connections since I switched to Firefox, but I get by. Maybe some day I'll take the time to figure it out.

Many times I lurk through a useful thread and copy/paste useful stuff on news links or Mozilla. My way of thanking all is to post an NT thanks at some point on the thread, hoping the right people will see it - like this! Happy

Regards, Doug in New Mexico

Collapse -
(NT) (NT) Carefully worded NT replies do great job and save time
by Roger NC / November 27, 2004 5:24 AM PST
In reply to: Good points, Roger
Collapse -
Re: Is it just my thinking, or is this rude?
by Dick White / November 26, 2004 9:50 AM PST

I have been active in several of the technical help forums (here and elsewhere) and it seems to be a lost courtesy. On the technical side, I'm interested not simply in thanks, but did it work. But sadly, you get used to it after a while.

dw

Collapse -
The tech side of it
by MarciaB / November 26, 2004 10:08 AM PST

Yes, definitely a response of some sort to let you know whether it helped, didn't, if they found the answer elsewhere, or they gave up and used the sledge hammer remedy Happy

It's too bad you have to "get used to it," but I guess that becomes part of the "job."


.

Collapse -
I think the sledgehammer technique
by Cindi Haynes / November 27, 2004 3:36 AM PST
In reply to: The tech side of it
Collapse -
(NT) (NT) banging head on desk or keyboard, too LOL
by TONI H / November 27, 2004 5:13 AM PST
Collapse -
Re: Is it just my thinking, or is this rude?
by Diane Harrison / November 26, 2004 10:10 AM PST

One answer that some gave before in the technical forums, was that they didn't want to clutter up the forums with useless posts. I fail to see how a "thank you" to anyone who tries to help is useless, but that's the explanation they gave. If that is the case, perhaps they could just put "thank you in advance" on their posts.

Collapse -
Re: Is it just my thinking, or is this rude?
by MarciaB / November 26, 2004 10:18 AM PST

I have seen that in some posts, Diane - the TIA. I think in the purely tech forums that this would be acceptable for the most part. If a huge amount of help has gone into the "fix," then maybe an added kudo would be even nicer.

.

Collapse -
Yep, but also to know if things worked out ...
by Evie / November 26, 2004 9:40 PM PST

... I'm especially annoyed when someone offers a lot of help and even signs off with something like "let me know how it turns out", and then nothing. Frustrating even for someone that is just lurking to glean info!

Evie Happy

Collapse -
LOL ... should have read the other replies first ...
by Evie / November 26, 2004 9:33 PM PST

... I said pretty much the same thing.

Evie Happy

Collapse -
I agree it is rude ...
by Evie / November 26, 2004 8:59 PM PST

... when I used to post around the help forums I noticed it happened to myself, and often others that tried to help someone, quite frequently Sad My thought was that a person probably posted the question on a few tech forums and found their answer in another. Still, a simple "thankyou" would be nice. On troubleshooting issues sometimes there would be long threads with lots of input and back and forth, and no feedback on whether anything worked.

Evie Happy

Collapse -
Help forums
by Steven Haninger / November 26, 2004 10:36 PM PST
In reply to: I agree it is rude ...

I spend more time there than here. These can get even more disjointed than SE, if you can believe that, in that it's not always clear where a question should be posed. About the only thing I find to be really rude is when a person initiates a post and that's the last you hear from them at all within that topic. Some offer solutions and some ask for more information but the poster just disappears altogether. Not nice.

Collapse -
I agree ... not nice!
by Evie / November 26, 2004 10:42 PM PST
In reply to: Help forums

Before I found SE, I spent quite a bit of time over at the then-named Call for Help forum. As a college prof, I'm not very social with other professors, and it isn't very professional or appropriate to be too social with students. I also was teaching just on the internet for a while. When I found SE, it was a place that allowed me interaction when I was somewhat isolated from people. As I coordinate tutorials, etc., as well in my job, I've stayed here for the discussions and just don't have the inclination to participate in help forums. Kinda like when my hubby was a contractor, he didn't do much "contracting" work on our house! LOL Happy

Evie Happy

Collapse -
As a long time poster
by TONI H / November 26, 2004 11:00 PM PST
In reply to: I agree ... not nice!

in a good majority of the Help Forums, I've always been tenacious about sticking with a problem until it was resolved. I've noticed over the last year especially though that when I've asked for more information and it didn't come forth (either because the person totally ignored my reply and answered other people instead without actually resolving the problem or because that person just didn't come back at all), I've either asked one more time for the information I felt I needed in order to continue to trouble shoot and offer suggestions or I have stopped looking for a reply.

If people ignore me and actually respond to others, I drop out of the discussion and don't bother to see if they ever got it resolved. If people just don't come back, I don't look for their post to all of a sudden jump to the top of the thread anymore. And I don't bother to subscribe to any of the threads....why frustrate myself with a bunch of email notifications when they aren't responding to me in the first place but are instead replying to other people within the thread?

The people who are serious about getting a problem resolved will continue to respond bumping their thread to the top where I spot it pretty quickly as I move through the forums I go to regularly. Quite a few of them still respond with a 'thanks for hanging in there' or some such which only helps keep the rest of us still posting help for everybody.....even if the thanks are given to other people and not myself. It only takes one person out of about twenty on average who actually thank the person who helped them to make it worth the effort to the rest of us.

We don't actually look for the thanks......it's just a pleasant, warm-fuzzy when it happens, even when it's directed to somebody else who managed to find the right resolution to the problem. It winds up helping US at the same time by giving us the answer to a problem that might come up again later on, and we then know the resolution to offer up again at that point. I've wondered lots of times how many of us who are helped 'in the background' have actually come forward and said 'thanks' as well even though it wasn't 'our' problem to begin with?

TONI

Collapse -
Re: As a long time poster
by Glenda / November 26, 2004 11:05 PM PST
In reply to: As a long time poster

I have done that:) I can't remember what the problem was now, But answers in that thread solved my problem too and I thanked the helpers:) When I first came into the forums I was amazed at how much work went in to helping people, and then they received no thanks for the help. I thought that was just plain rude:(
Glenda

Collapse -
For a long time
by TONI H / November 27, 2004 12:06 AM PST

and it could still be, especially for the newbies, I believe they figured we were all being paid to come up with the help anyhow and they expected results no matter how long it took to get it.

I don't see it as rudeness....just uneducated about how the forums work and that everybody, including the Moderators, is there voluntarily trying to help people because we were all in the same boat when we first got our computers and didn't know squat about them.

With newer technology every single day, we're STILL newbies even with having computers for years already....we just know how the difference between a left click and a right click better than newer newbies. LOL

TONI

Collapse -
Re: For a long time
by MarciaB / November 27, 2004 12:31 AM PST
In reply to: For a long time
Uneducated - that may be the best way to put it, Toni, and I think you're correct.

I just didn't like seeing it because I work so hard to teach my children to be polite and respectful, and then I see this other area that they are exposed to (not my 9 y.o. yet) where politeness is tossed aside. Sad

If we (globally) forget the basic niceties of co-existing peacefully with one another, even on a "virtual" level, then I think we begin to see more discord in general at all levels.

Probably not the case, but it's how I feel about it. Happy

I also like your term newer newbies - they should have terms such as that in our profile area: new newbie, old newbie, grouchy old newbie, etc. Wink

.
Collapse -
So true! LOL
by Glenda / November 27, 2004 1:20 AM PST
In reply to: For a long time
Collapse -
Re: So true! LOL
by MarciaB / November 27, 2004 1:37 AM PST
In reply to: So true! LOL

That's a hoot, Sue!! Grin

I take care of the 3 computers at home. My guy has his own, of course, but he is one of those that professes to be "computer illiterate." He's a smart man, and very trainable Wink , BUT he also knows that I will more than gladly take care of his computer because it is the hub of our network at home.

He could learn to do everything that I do, but his thinking (and it works for me) is "why should I when you can do it so well?" I could also learn to fix the electrical, plumbing, etc., in the house that he does so well - BUT, why should I when he does it so well? LOL

We have a wonderful working relationship here at home. I take care of the stuff that I do well, and so does he. Works for me! Grin

.

Collapse -
Re: So true! LOL
by Glenda / November 27, 2004 1:51 AM PST
In reply to: Re: So true! LOL

I keep asking him what happens if I die first???? LOL
He said, So? I will ask Linda ( oldest daughter) to fix it:)
The MAN is incorrigible!!!
We have the SIL fix electrical & plumbing in this house:) I want it to work after it has been fixed!! evil grin:))
Glenda

Collapse -
Toni, off topic
by Donna Hager / November 29, 2004 12:38 PM PST
In reply to: For a long time

The email address I have for you said your inbox was full. (This was on Thursday). Do you have another address I can write to you at? I even emailed you through your profile but don't know if you got that either.

Collapse -
Donna
by TONI H / November 29, 2004 10:02 PM PST
In reply to: Toni, off topic

valink went bellyup shortly after I left them to go back to Starband.......then three or four days ago, the satellite starband uses for most of the Eastern (north and south) of the US blinked out, but my email program is still working with them. Can't get on the net though so I had to temporarily swing over to another local dial up ISP to get back on the net with. I managed to finally (last night) get back on the net and download all my starband email, so the profile is working still and I did get your email. I didn't get a chance to do much replying last night since it was so late before I finally found a modem that XP would accept to get me back on line after swapping out hardware nearly the whole day. These modems were all working fine with XP prior to this so it has to have something to do with parts of SP-2 being installed that kicked my hardware installations into the toilet. Managed to find an older external USRobotics modem using a serial port (it was the last modem I tried), and it slammed right in and got me up and running (at a blazing fast 28.8 rate......what a joke). Praying starband gets us back onto an alternate satellite REAL soon though. DSL and cable are not an option for me in this mountain.

Get in touch anytime.......hope you and the hubby are fine.

TONI

Collapse -
Toni,
by Donna Hager / November 30, 2004 9:51 AM PST
In reply to: Donna

if you still happen to have my email address, could you write to me so I know what your correct address is now? And if you don't have it, I can post a web address here you can use to email me, ok? Its just that I was thinking of you prior to Thanksgiving which is why I ordered a special e-card for you and wanted you to know I was thinking about you Happy

Collapse -
Re: For a long time
by polgaratex / November 30, 2004 3:10 PM PST
In reply to: For a long time

Howdy folks, first time poster here.

In response to the complaint of lack of thanks or even a response in help forums, the first few times I tried forums for help I tended to lose the link and did not know how to get back to it for a reply, much less to thank the hard work of the moderators. It's so easy to get lost on the net when you are trying to search out helpful links for problems amind the detrius of junk and a newbie can sure get lost faster than the rest of us. Thanks <grin>
Polgaratex

Collapse -
Welcome
by Steven Haninger / November 30, 2004 8:12 PM PST
In reply to: Re: For a long time

And if you get yourself lost looking for replies to your posts or forget where you have been, all you need to do is remember your name here. Plug it into the search box and it should find you and your posts. Click on one that looks familiar and it will take you into that thread. Enjoy

Collapse -
Very true!
by Cindi Haynes / December 1, 2004 1:15 AM PST
In reply to: Re: For a long time
Collapse -
Chuckling, someone is sneaking in on me
by Roger NC / December 1, 2004 6:28 AM PST
In reply to: Very true!

That my dear colleagues is the missus.

LOL, she's had to listen to me read half the posts over my shoulder anyway. Normally when I'm online she is too. Both computers are in the same room, tables on opposite walls, so we sit facing oppositely but side by side.

I warn ya, she's from Texas and ain't 'fraid of nobody.

RogerNC

click here to email semods4@yahoo.com

Popular Forums

icon
Computer Newbies 10,686 discussions
icon
Computer Help 54,365 discussions
icon
Laptops 21,181 discussions
icon
Networking & Wireless 16,313 discussions
icon
Phones 17,137 discussions
icon
Security 31,287 discussions
icon
TVs & Home Theaters 22,101 discussions
icon
Windows 7 8,164 discussions
icon
Windows 10 2,657 discussions

FALL TV PREMIERES

Your favorite shows are back!

Don’t miss your dramas, sitcoms and reality shows. Find out when and where they’re airing!