into iPhoto,
When prompted, delete the pictures on the Camera Roll.
In iPhoto, create an iPhone album
Put the pictures you want on the iPhone, into the album
Change the sync preferences to all iTunes to sync just that specific album.
Sync the iPhone.
Next time you connect the iPhone, iPhoto should not open: unless you took more pictures on the phone
P
In the iTunes settings I ticked the "open iTunes when plugging the iPhone". Despite this it opens iPhoto and I need each time quit iPhoto and open iTunes.

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