Internet filters and parental controls

See http://forums.cnet.com/5208-6132_102-0.html?forumID=32&threadID=241224&start=0

It mentions almost all the current solutions.

There are a number of legitimate reasons why you might want to filter websites that people can visit, but trying to keep kids "safe" is not one of them. I think the key is in the phrase used to describe the software: Parental Controls. It's not, "Child Safety", or "Child Protection", it's "Parental Control". Meaning it's nothing to do with the kids, just making the parents feel better about themselves for not taking a more active role in their child/children's life/lives.

I could go on for quite some time about how lazy and irresponsible I tend to think people who use this sort of software are, but I won't. Instead, I'll pose a few simple questions to you, and say that if you can't come up with a good answer to them, you might want to reconsider.

First off, why is it you don't trust your kids? The only reason you'd feel the need for parental control software is if you felt that your kids weren't trustworthy, or that you failed them as a parent in some way. If this weren't the case, you would trust them not to go to sites that you felt were inappropriate. Further, if you wish to build trust with your child/children, this isn't exactly the brightest of ideas for doing that.

Second, what makes you think they won't find a way around anything you do? Face it, kids are usually two steps (or more) ahead of their parents when it comes to understanding technology. Parental Control software can be bypassed, it can be disabled, and it doesn't exactly stop them from going some place that isn't filtered (a friend's house perhaps) to look at porn or whatever.

Third, what about the issue of over-zealous filtering done by some software? Most commercial parental control programs use broad and sweeping pattern recognition schemes that filter a lot of sites that aren't pornographic at all. A great example, oft cited, is that sites about breast cancer, potentially life saving information, is almost always blocked because it contains the word "breast". Sites with information about safe sex, also potentially life saving information, would be similarly blocked. I can't think of a single responsible parent who would object to their child/children learning about breast cancer or safe sex methods. Sure, maybe you'd prefer your kid stays a virgin until their wedding night, and that's the only person they ever sleep with. It's nice to have fantasies, but it's also important to recognize the reality that this is almost certainly not going to be the case.

Finally... Try to remember back to when you were the age of your kid/kids. Did you ever really listen to your parents every time they told you you couldn't do something? Just like your parents, I'm sure you think it's for their own good, but they aren't going to see it that way. The more you try and forbid something, the more tempting you're going to make it seem.

Much as you might like to, you can't always be there for your kid/kids. At some point, they're going to start having to make decisions on their own. You tend to have control over whether or not they make informed decisions or not. So for example, you may not like the fact that they will be having sex at some point, but it's almost certainly going to happen sooner or later. When that time comes, they can either make an informed decision and make sure to use a condom, or they can plunge right in with blissful ignorance. In which case, an unwanted pregnancy would be the best case scenario.

Now, I suppose listening to all that deserves at least some small reward, so here it is. As part of something else I've been doing, I was looking into low cost, flexible, filtering solutions.

What I would suggest, is that you use the DansGuardian program in conjunction with the Squid caching web proxy. Both are free, highly flexible, and probably better than any commercial package you'll find.

Squid is a great little program that can really speed up your web browsing. It keeps local copies of pages you visit on your computer, so that if you go to this site again, and the content hasn't changed, it just pulls up the local copy instead of downloading it again. It's a pretty worthwhile program all on its own. It does have some limited filtering abilities of its own, but DansGuardian is specifically designed for filtering out things.

DansGuardian can function on its own, but used with Squid it will also speed up your web browsing quite a bit. DansGuardian is probably best used to filter out sites that will try to install malware on your system or promote illegal activities, etc. It can filter things based on file extension, so you could block all .exe files from downloading, but still allow .zip files for example. You can also create exceptions to the filtering rules, so you could theoretically block a site that has the word "breast" in it, but doesn't contain the word "cancer" along with it.

You can also get pre-made filter lists for use with either Squid or DansGuardian. One I use is from here: http://www.malware.com.br . There's a list for use with just Squid, there's one for use with DansGuardian, and a host of other programs as well.

I would again strongly recommend just dropping the whole idea, but if you insist... The above solution is probably the best you're going to get, and it's free to boot.