(from my inbox) Hey! It's all in fun!
This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, who has ever lived in Atlanta, has
ever visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who already
lives in Atlanta, or knows anyone who has ever heard of Atlanta, Georgia:
Atlanta is composed mostly of one way streets. The only way to get out of
downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville,
South Carolina. All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include
the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." Except that in Cobb County,
all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken."
Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused
Peachtree Industrial Boulevard.
Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask
anyone for directions they will always send you down Peachtree.
Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. That's all they drink here, so don't ask
for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola.
Gate One at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport is 32 miles away
from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.
The 8:00 AM rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM.
The 5:00 PM rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM.
Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon, and lasts through 2:00 AM
A native can only pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so do not attempt the
Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right
and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is "pahnss duh LEE-on".
The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all
traffic rules If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and it's
on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week. All grocery
stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and
I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta and has a posted speed limit of 55
mph (but you have to maintain at least 80 mph just to keep from getting
run over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."
The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless
your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus a
couple no one has seen before.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
"Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to the store)
Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when
'Jeet?' is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
If you understand these jokes, forward them to your friends from GA -- and
those who just wish they were.
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