Thank you for being a valued part of the CNET community. As of December 1, 2020, the forums are in read-only format. In early 2021, CNET Forums will no longer be available. We are grateful for the participation and advice you have provided to one another over the years.

Thanks,

CNET Support

General discussion

I want my EITC

Feb 25, 2004 9:02PM PST

Oh wait! I don't qualify because I don't have a child. Minor detail. The Federal government is discriminating against me as I cannot get all the benefits extended to those with children. So, silly as it might sound, I have decided that I have two children, my cats. Heck, they aren't humans, nor even technically children anymore in cat years, but these are only minor details. They are what I say they are so I want my EITC!

Evie Happy

Discussion is locked

- Collapse -
Re:Child Support
Feb 27, 2004 4:23AM PST

Hi Marcia,

I think Ed has given you some good ideas. I don't know if it's different in your state, but here in CT the contempt order could be pursued from a civil angle. While the fees/atty costs can be prohibitive, there are usually advocacy groups around that can assist you with this.

I had a friend who's ex lived in another state and drifted between jobs. Very difficult to do anything, but he didn't visit the kids either. Since you mentioned visitation, does yours visit? Are you on any sort of civil level of relationship with him? The reason I ask is that few fathers who spend time with their kids would skip out on the support end unless they are truly unable to pay. At this point with all the back owed, this may have ballooned to the point of overwhelming. Rather than wait till you can get that $24K back, you did mention he paid in November. In your best estimate is he unable to make the monthly payment? If that's the case, you can't get blood from a stone and it might be to the benefit of everyone to reduce the award (although $200/mo. for 2 kids if that was a monthly payment seems very reasonable!) to something he CAN and WILL pay. Perhaps you can make arrangements that he pay part of the back debt to each of your kids when they turn 18 -- kindof like just continuing the child support payments directly to them in young adulthood. While it certainly would be better to have the money now, he might be more conducive to paying directly to his kids, and seeing a light at the end of the tunnel to that large debt. It sure would be nice while in college or getting out in the world for your boys to get a helping hand -- better late than never! Just a thought, and since I know very little of your situation I hope I haven't offended with any suggestion.

BTW, what does he do?

I've seen both sides of that equation. Unfortunately for every one like you and my friend with three boys and a deadbeat Dad, there are women who leave marriages they could have made work to find themselves and the Dad is denied access and compelled to pay hefty sums. I know two such women and their husbands. It is fair to say that neither needs the support payments nor spends them/saves them for the children. They take particular glee at destroying their ex's lives by filing contempt orders when they miss one payment because they lost their job. If the guy gets a promotion or a new job that pays more, their ex goes back for more. God forbid he be able to remarry and perhaps have and support kids with another woman. Sadly, I don't think either of the women found anything in their self-finding journeys, and the children were the real losers Sad

No easy answers there. Hang in! You're doing a great job. Since I'm being lazy, I'll answer your other post in this thread here. I think there is a misconception regarding the feelings many of have regarding welfare. I don't think anyone begrudges a hand up out of a temporary situation. I also think that many here have less of a problem with a governmental role than they have with a Federal one-size-fits-all wealth redistribution role. Private charity is much better at providing charity without the need to place one's pride anywhere.

Evie Happy

- Collapse -
Thanks Evie & Ed, for your kind suggestions
Feb 27, 2004 1:03PM PST

Believe me, I know all the ins and outs of the system here in Oregon. I have been dealing with this for 7 years now. If the DA is willing to work in conjunction with SED, I will let him decide if he wishes to go contempt of court. A CoC case for child support can drag on and on for months and years. I do not wish to bring myself back into the middle of it. I did that for 5 years. I was sick, losing weight, my hair was falling out - being a good and healthy mom for my children is more important. I can't do that if I am fighting with their father.

He is the local plumber, self-employed, no bank accounts. In fact, he is the only Journeyman Plumber that lives here. Before we married he was making around $50,000 annual gross. During our marriage that was increased to over $160k, he filed for bankruptcy within 6 months after he left me. He is now claiming around $49k. He can make GOOD money when he wishes to. All his assets are in his girlfriend's name. Oregon is not a community property state, nor does it recognize common law marriages. He has many toys.

He requests visitation with the children when he is not mad at me. Since I turned this case over to SED in January '03 (actually it was already their case, they just hadn't been doing anything with it) and told him I did not wish to fight with him about money anymore, he has been mad. He has had no visitation since last May. They see him around town all the time, but he won't call them or take them anywhere. I'm living with it, and they are learning to do the same.

I don't like it, and life would be easier if he would pay, but I cannot depend on him, and never will be able to.

******* Happy We really do make the best of the situation. I'm happy and so are my kids. Happy *********

Marcia

- Collapse -
Re:Thanks Evie & Ed, for your kind suggestions
Feb 28, 2004 10:40PM PST

Hi Marcia,

It seems he has done all the tricks, but it would seem that with him being local and all something more could be done. Self employed with no checking account and considerable business? How on earth does he get insurance? All his business is on a cash basis? All his assets are in his girlfriend's name? I would think he should have run afoul the IRS or state's revenue board a long time ago with such practices. Now that his license has been canceled, it should do more than just piss him off.

But, sometimes, being happy and healthy is more important. If you can make do without the support that's pretty much what one of my friends had to do. It's too bad there's not enough shame going around in today's society where the community would shun such a man who would literally walk away from his responsibilities he clearly has the ability to make good on Sad

Evie Happy

- Collapse -
Were I a female is such a position...
Feb 29, 2004 5:13AM PST

I would be sore tempted to simply hire a couple of knuckle dragging bill collectors for a percentage of the collection. Wink

- Collapse -
(nt)LOL, Ed............if you only knew how many times that thought has crossed my mind!!! LOL
Feb 29, 2004 8:46PM PST

..

- Collapse -
Re:I want my EITC
Feb 26, 2004 5:07AM PST

Well, kinda in the same boat with kids being gone for 50+ years and being retired.

What gripes me (and you being a internet teacher may want to comment) is that for all these 50+ years without a kid in school I still have to pay 'out-of-this-world' school taxes on my property that far exceed the rate of city/county & other taxes. Guess the answer is that kids would not get a good education without money from us who do not have kids in school. Pity, the kids in school parents would have to pay too much.. huh.

JR

- Collapse -
I don't mind the money for schools so much
Feb 26, 2004 6:30AM PST

and I guess you have to have a county and city governing board (unfortunately maybe).

It's just when it seems that there the bang for the buck just isn't there for the tax dollar that get discouraged. It seems a lot of tax money is spent without much to display as an results all too often.

- Collapse -
A thought, John
Feb 26, 2004 7:04AM PST

When your kids were in school, there were retired folks whose kids had been out of school for years who were paying school taxes for your schools.

Ours spent most of their school years in non-public schools for which we paid tution, and still paid the public school taxes. Of course, it was our choice, so we couldn't complain.

I wish I could say that school taxes were an investment in the future, but in my area, the schools aren't doing a very good job of it. Sad

Angeline
click here to email semods4@yahoo.com

- Collapse -
After all the debate, just an FYI
Feb 29, 2004 5:26AM PST

The official (I guess) explanation of EITC .

Yes, it is abused. Yes it's application has perhaps exceeded the original intent. And it's hard to understand calling an amount a refund if it exceeds taxes paid.

The original intent "...in part to offset the burden of social security taxes and to provide an incentive to work."

I think where it started seeming particularly wrong for many was the refunding of more than was paid in in federal taxes. Reducing the taxes on the lower income is one thing, giving back as a "tax refund" more than had been paid it just seems wrong to many.

Perhaps one more incidence of good intentions being abused.

-- Roger (NC), Speakeasy Moderator
click here to email semods4@yahoo.com