I hate MP3 Players! (Need help finding SPECIFIC features)

First of all, my prior MP3 player experiences have been miserable. I'm hoping that there's some player out there that won't annoy the heck out of me. I've tried the iPOD and the Samsung YP-Z5.

So I'm looking for a player with these specific features:

1. I want a player that will ALWAYS remember where I left off.

I don't care about specialized playlists. I just want to put a few hundred songs in it, press "shuffle," and push play. And when I turn it on a week later, I want it to pick up right where I left off. But thus far, if I don't turn the player on within 24 hours, it erases my shuffled playlist and I'm forced to start over. Unless I listen to songs alphabetically, and I'm willing to search for the song that I left off at, I can never actually get through and hear all of my songs over a multi-day period.

2. I want buttons that won't make me shout expletives at it in public.

I'm tired of hyper-sensitive buttons that skip over to the next song or the beginning of the current song because the player bumped my leg or my keys the wrong way.

3. If it DOES skip over a song, I want a fast-forward or rewind option.

Few things irritate me more than being 4 minutes into a 6 minute song, only to have it jump to the next song. With the players I've tried, that means either going back and listening to the 6-minute song from the beginning, or giving up on it. I want a player that can function like a CD player and zip to the spot I left off at.

4. It might be a foolish dream, but if there's a player that gets AM Radio, I want it.

5. Here's what I DON'T care about: screen size or resolution, graphics, video or internet features, and voice recorder options.

I'd like decent storage size, but if I can find a player that fits my criteria, I'll be happy if only holds 100 songs.