Give him permission to flipflop on decisions and events when the going gets tough
HOW TO RAISE A CROOK
1. Give him everything he wants. This way he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living.
2. Never give him spiritual training. Wait until he is twenty-one and then let him decide for himself.
3. Avoid using the word "wrong." It might make him feel guilty and his school work may suffer.
4. Do not make him work at home. Do his work for him, so he will learn at an early age to leave responsibility to others.
5. Let him watch anything he wants, so he can learn from television how to get along in the world.
6.Always give him spending money so he won't be frustrated by having to earn his own.
7. Do not make rules for him-you might make him angry at you.
8. When he gets bad grades, blame the teachers.
9. When he gets in trouble at school, blame the principal.
10. When he gets caught drunk driving, blame his friends.
11. When he loses his job, blame the boss.
12. Let him experiment with sex, drugs and alcohol so he will be able to make an educated decision.
13. Buy him a car as soon as he can drive so he will have the freedom to go wherever he wants.