A Texan is bragging to a Jew about the size of his ranch. He proudly says, "If I get in my car at six in the morning and drive ALL DAY, by the time the sun goes down I still haven't reached the other end of my ranch!"
The Jew nodds his head in understanding and says wistfully, "I once had a car like that...."
El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas.
King Ranch is larger than Rhode Island.
Beaumont to El Paso: 742 miles, Beaumont to Chicago: 770 miles