Susie has always felt, I'm not sure of the word, her FIL died at age 55, he also obviously knew it was coming. The last conversation with him, she keeps remembering, is his refusal to change his diet or stop drinking copious red wine. He said he wanted to die happy, not after endless pain.
One of the things that brought Susie and I together was her sympathy to me for the death of my Mum, who it was obvious after the fact, knew for years she had cancer. The night before her death, my family was telling me she'll be home from hospital by next week, as was normal 4 or 5 times a year all my life; and the nurses at the hospital told me she wasn't expect to last the night. I stormed back in to Mum, who reminded me she'd always believed the theme of "Love Story", that Dad had promised "no pain".
Frank died within an hour of Susie leaving him at the railway station. Mum died within an hour of my leaving the hospital.
In both our cases, we were supposed to be "stiff upper lip" and not distress people by our behaviour.
Your words are a help, even after 21 years. Thank you.
Ian