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Granddad's Paradise

by Rolway / November 19, 2005 10:10 AM PST

When I was a kid I would pass time with Granddad in the old barn he'd set up as a wood working shop. "Granddad's Paradise" as the sign on the door boasted. Later, in his twilight years when his hand-eye coordination deteriorated it became known as "Granddad's Random Amputation Center".

Anyway, in the old days, after a demanding day of farm labor and once again surviving Grandma's loving attempts at murder by means of lard-soaked starches, we'd retire to the shop to become one with the wood. The thing I remember most was the old Craftsman table saw... the centerpiece of the shop and his only power tool. At first it was the loud noise that frightened me, but that was soon replace with the dread of the gosh awful smell that nearly always followed. Neither seemed to bother Granddad, and you could tell by his smile that he loved that saw. Sometimes he would abruptly stop what he was doing, walk over and turn it on just to make a casual cut on a piece of wood. I thought this was strange given how meticulous he normally was about first measuring and defining a line.

Then one day he hurried over, threw the switch only to discover a split second too late that it was unplugged. The saw remained silent, but the barn rumbled with what sounded like someone quickly accelerating a Harley Davidson under a blanket... followed by the smell. He quickly cussed the old barn cat whose eyes were as big as mine, and also watering in self-defense, but I wasn't buying it. Cats are not design to contain such pressure without becoming a projectile, and Omar had never left the ground.

From that day forward I called it the old Crapsmans saw, and learned to step outside during cuts to unmeasured lumber. Maybe that's where the phrase "cut one" comes from... I don't know, but I miss the old fart.

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(NT) (NT) LOL! Funny:)
by Glenda / November 19, 2005 10:12 AM PST
In reply to: Granddad's Paradise
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(NT) (NT) Both of us choking while reading aloud to wife.
by Roger NC / November 20, 2005 1:18 AM PST
In reply to: Granddad's Paradise
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Problem is....
by Glenda / November 20, 2005 1:27 AM PST

it gave Jim an idea on how to use his saw]:) He also loved this one:)

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Watch for other signs
by Steven Haninger / November 20, 2005 1:46 AM PST
In reply to: Problem is....

Beware of someone licking their finger and sticking it up in the air to test wind direction. Then walk immediately in front of them at the quickest pace possible.;)

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Ha! Thanks.......
by Glenda / November 20, 2005 1:53 AM PST
In reply to: Watch for other signs

NOW I KNOW what he was doing!!!! Devil

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To chime in....
by Angeline Booher / November 20, 2005 6:38 AM PST
In reply to: Granddad's Paradise

My father-in-law was good with wood, and at the time of the following event, had no power tools.

Times were tough for lots of folks in the mid 1930s. He had 4 children. Christmas meant in gift each,

For the older girl, he built a table and chair set, which took a while with hand tools. So late on Christmas Eve he was painting it. (Remember how long it took those old oil paints to dry?) You guessed it- it was not dry by Christmas morning.

My husband got a pocket knife that Christmas (which he said was the most wonderful gift ever!). He learned later that his Dad had found it useful while building the table set.

There are some treasured examples of his carpentry work in this house. One of them is a poplar pie safe he built from a century-old log. I still have the steps he made for our children to reach the bathroom sink out of wood from an old organ. (He was a minister.)

Now, how does this tie in with your wonderful story? My husband said that he once heard his Dad say (expletive deleted) when he hit his finger with a hammer. Happy

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