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Funny, but so true

by Mac McMullen / March 28, 2006 5:47 AM PST

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9:30 a.m. Wow! A car ride! This is a blast!

9:40 a.m. A walk in the park! Ate some crap...Delicious!

10:30 a.m. Getting rubbed and petted! I'm in love!

2:00 p.m. Lunch! Yummy!

1:00 p.m. Playing in the yard! I just love it!

3:00 p.m. Staring adoringly at my masters...they're the best! I'll wag my tail in joy.

4:00 p.m. Hooray! The kids are home! I'm bouncing off the walls!

5:00 p.m. Milkbones! Great!

7:00 p.m. Get to play ball! This is too good to be true!

8:00 p.m. Wow! Watching TV with my master! Heavenly!

11:00 p.m. Sleeping at the bottom of my master's bed!

Life is soooooooo great!


EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 683 of My Captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the floor. I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ''good little hunter'' I am. The audacity!!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow-- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released--and he seems more than willing to return! He is obviously ********.

The bird has got to be an informant-- I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe-- for now. But I can wait.

It is only a matter of time.
**************************

As funny as it is, it does have an "after-taste". Reminds me of the current crop of elected idiots in Washington DC

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Some sort of dry nuggets,ROFL
by tomron / March 28, 2006 6:21 AM PST
In reply to: Funny, but so true

I noticed that this forum has the funniest anecdotes.

Are they home spun or from another source.

Tom

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(NT) (NT) WYSIWYG ;-)
by Mac McMullen / March 28, 2006 11:37 AM PST
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I see the truth..
by Gakada / March 28, 2006 6:07 PM PST
In reply to: Funny, but so true

it needs a bunch of idiots to lead the geniuses... LOL

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Anybody who doesn't read it misses a good one!!!
by Angeline Booher / March 29, 2006 7:25 AM PST
In reply to: Funny, but so true
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