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From my inbox. Thought ya'll might enjoy this...

by Jack Ammann / June 24, 2006 11:11 AM PDT

...RAISING BOYS

a) For those who have grown children, this is hysterical.

b) For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious.

C) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

e) For those who have not yet had children, this is real birth control.



The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas: Things
I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint
on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a
baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words ''uh oh'', it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Legos (little plastic toys) will pass right through the digestive tract of a 4-year old
boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats can projectile vomit twice their own body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

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(NT) (NT) :)
by Mark5019 / June 24, 2006 11:11 AM PDT
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Yeah, I enjoyed it...
by Rolway / June 24, 2006 11:30 AM PDT

That #8.... "Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it". Did not know that. I'll have to try it next time the wind is blowing toward my good ole neighbors house. He dang near choked me out last week burning brush.

George

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I don't know for sure, George, but I hear...
by Jack Ammann / June 24, 2006 11:43 AM PDT
In reply to: Yeah, I enjoyed it...

...it'll put a smoke bomb to shame. Try it and let us know what you find out....like a smoke report and neighbor's reaction...LOL. Also be thinkin' of somethin' to tell the fire department, if necessary.

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Wished I had a little formular to go by
by Rolway / June 24, 2006 11:58 AM PDT

You know, so much of this and so much of that. Not too much worried about our FD. They all know me ha, ha. But now that you mention it, the Forest Rangers might get ansy. We border a Forest out here and they may not appreciate it. I'll call our FD for a permit to burn first.

You know I hope this idea of yours isn't going to blow my eyebrows off. Sad

George

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did a little reading around on google...
by littlejo$4u / June 24, 2006 6:21 PM PDT

and it seems that that kind of brake fluid is no longer sold.

well, you can always try a mentos+coke experiment. Happy

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fwiw,you're talking about making...........
by Tony Holmes / June 24, 2006 11:10 PM PDT

chlorine gas bombs which are highly unpredictable and illegal.

Dot3 and Dot4 brake fluid will both work because they're alcohol based,Dot5 fluid is silicone base and won't work.It's the alcohol which causes the reaction so why stop there,just use pure alcohol and blow yourself to kingdom come Wink

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(NT) (NT) off with his head! (:
by littlejo$4u / June 25, 2006 3:59 AM PDT
In reply to: bro your dising
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Must of been Dot 5 fluid Tony...
by Rolway / June 25, 2006 12:52 AM PDT

Anyway, you just convinced me to scratch this project. I'm satisfied with getting rid of the moss.

George

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you could always check here
by jonah jones / June 24, 2006 8:47 PM PDT
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Good Grief Jonah..
by Rolway / June 25, 2006 12:58 AM PDT

I'm not looking to blow up the patio. Just kill some moss covered bricks.

George Shocked

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Hi Jack..No Smoke...But..
by Rolway / June 25, 2006 12:47 AM PDT

It sure ate up the moss that was growing on my patio bricks. I really do not think we need the brake fluid, but It does turn it a very delicious looking shade of orange. At least your post was beneficial to me. Gets rid of moss. Thanks Jack. Happy

George

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"Hi Jack"????...My Gawd, I never wanna ...
by Jack Ammann / June 25, 2006 1:08 AM PDT

...travel with you...especially in an airport...LOL.

Seriously, good show on your moss experiment. But be careful on mixing those two chemicals. I thought the same thing Marine Man did when I saw "Clorox". Chlorine = Trouble...I would never mess with it. I learned my lesson when I cleaned the Calcium from a swimming pool with Muriatic Acid....a weak Hydrochloric Acid....and I thought I was gonna meet my maker before I was finished.

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Thats funny...
by Dragon / June 24, 2006 12:05 PM PDT

I was just wondering about the Clorox + brake fluid thing...

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Jack, that's one of the very few....
by Angeline Booher / June 25, 2006 1:16 AM PDT

.... that I have sent to just about "everybody in my address book".

And I did it within 7 minutes! Happy

Very funny, and brought back memoreis.

Thanks!

Angeline
Speakeasy Moderator
click here to email
semods4@yahoo.com[/url

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(NT) (NT) Angeline, I thought you girls would like this one.
by Jack Ammann / June 25, 2006 1:40 AM PDT
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