.....I've been told that it is a printed sheet in
the orientation package provided every new employee
joining a tax dollar based payroll.
(Not actually from Letterman; source unknown)
Ten Best Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk
10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
09. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."
08. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!"
07. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
06. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
05. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"
04. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
03. "The coffee machine is broken..."
02. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
And the best thing to say if nabbed nodding at the desk:
01. " ... in Jesus' name. Amen."