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General discussion

Dreaded Al-gebra Cult

Nov 25, 2003 1:03AM PST
Subject: Dreaded Al-gebra Cult

I felt so secure after reading the following Hot off the Wires:

'At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement.

He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,", Ashcroft said.

"They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value.

They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.

"I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard.

Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."

President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex."

Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse.

Here is one principle he is uncertain of:

though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks."

Discussion is locked

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(NT) LOL ! Good 'un ! :-)
Nov 25, 2003 1:48AM PST

.

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My daughter has joined this Cult!
Nov 25, 2003 2:09AM PST

What do I do now? I can't talk to her anymore! All she wants to know is how to formulate a new equation.

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Convince her to join N.O.W....
Nov 26, 2003 12:35AM PST

That will involve her with hard core Women's Libbers and "De Bra" her leaving her as only an Al-ge and horticulturists will talk to anyone!

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Very funny!
Nov 25, 2003 2:40AM PST

On a related note, I had a student once write the subject in the line on the exam book as algeBRA (if I had the ability I would show the difference in size between the alge and BRA parts). My hubby got a kick out of it but hinted I should fail the kid! Then he thought maybe I should take pity and pass him cuz perhaps he was distracted Silly

Evie Happy

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Re:Very funny!
Nov 25, 2003 2:49AM PST

no doubt he was.

poor kid, probably evolved into a math genius.

david williams

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This is really funny. Passed it on ofcourse. Thanks. (NT)
Nov 25, 2003 11:58PM PST

.

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Excellent!
Nov 26, 2003 12:37AM PST

Thinking of passing it on to the DoJ...

A little afraid that A.N.S.E.R. will take it seriously though and initiate demonstrations...