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General discussion

Dog vs. Cat Diary

Feb 4, 2004 1:37AM PST

FROM THE DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

FROM THE CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me
with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh
meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that
keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild scolding I get
from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to
kill my Captors by weaving around their feet while they were
walking almost succeeded; Must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite
chair; I must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended
about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according
to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I
could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I
overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies."
Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy
to return. He is Obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant,
and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he
reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal
room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter
of time.

Discussion is locked

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(NT) I can believe that !
Feb 4, 2004 2:25AM PST

.

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Re: Dog vs. Cat Diary -- umpty umpth posting... (NT)
Feb 4, 2004 12:25PM PST

.

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Re:mirror mirror on the wall
Feb 4, 2004 2:18PM PST

who but ian and dave recall?

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Me! Me! I 'member.
Feb 4, 2004 5:25PM PST

.
It's still cute and good for a laugh.

Besides I didn't 'member all of it Happy

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well, ****** me,
Feb 4, 2004 8:24PM PST

I was about to post that I thought it a great joke.

Such is life.

Ian