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Difference between Conservatives and Liberals

by Del McMullen / September 14, 2004 3:29 AM PDT

There was a thread recently on this subject, but who's
gonna look thru unpteen pages to find it.

Although pure humor, there is an amount of truth here:

Conservatives are symbolized by the largest, most powerful
land animal on earth.

Liberals are symbolized by the *******.

Modern Liberals like imported beer (they add lime), but
most prefer white wine or foreign water in a bottle.
They eat raw fish but like their beef well done.
Sushi, tofu, and French food are on liberal menus.

Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists,
and group therapists are Liberals. Liberals invented
the designated hitter rule in baseball because it
wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat.
Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction workers, medical doctors, police officers,
corporate executives, soldiers, athletes, and generally
anyone who works productively outside government.
Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives
who want to work for a living.


Liberals do not produce anything. They like to "govern"
the producers and decide what is to be done with the
production. Liberals know how to tell people how to
live, what's proper, what to wear, what movies are
worth seeing, where to vacation, and, above all, give
your money to the government, because the government
knows better than you how to spend it.

The American cowboy, of course, is your basic, full-bore
Conservative.

A hundred years ago, an Englishman visiting Texas was
attempting to find the owner of a huge cattle ranch.
He rode up to one of the ranch hands, and inquired,
"Pardon me, but could you perhaps tell me, where I
might locate your master?"

To which the cowboy replied, "That SOB ain't been born yet."

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