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checking up on my teen

by bonw / February 14, 2008 10:04 AM PST

Is there a program that I can install on my pc that will allow me to read my daughters AIM chats? I keep saving them to a file but in the settings she just can click on delete logs. I even tried making the folder private, but it shows up under browse in the AIM settings.

Thanx, Bon

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I have a program that could do it
by tyer22 / February 14, 2008 10:10 AM PST
In reply to: checking up on my teen

try this program that I found, i works great. It can allow you to monitor your daughter's chats over your network. So your daughter could chat on one computer, and you could monitor the chat on your laptop/PC. If you need any other help, send me a PM. Also, let me know how it works out for you, if u like it, tell your friends.

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link
by tyer22 / February 14, 2008 10:12 AM PST
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AIM program
by bonw / February 14, 2008 10:42 AM PST
In reply to: link

It looks like a great program! But after the 15 day trial it's a little pricy. but thanx so much!!

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I used to use
by PudgyOne / February 14, 2008 10:36 AM PST
In reply to: checking up on my teen

Trillian. You can read the log using notepad. I made the file and folder hidden and They were a limited user. I have the unrestricted account, so I could always do what I needed to.


Rick

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keyboard logging
by waltsyd / February 15, 2008 12:46 PM PST
In reply to: checking up on my teen

I used a keyboard logger on my teen daughter. I told her up front that anyone might see whatever she did on the internet. I never had to act on anything because she was such a great kid (she went on to be a top scholar and got a full scholarship worth about $100K). We were involved with her in many activities and spent lots of time with her and my wife, sharing many experiences, doing volunteer work at theaters, and building trust. I always felt that I was doing exactly what a parent should be doing, including monitoring her use of the internet. I never checked her mail, but the internet is a far different thing. Anyway, I used ActMon from IOpus software. I deleted it the day she turned 18. I still tell that the internet is not private and that anything can be captured.

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PC Tattletale Works like a charm
by lewisinde / February 15, 2008 12:49 PM PST
In reply to: checking up on my teen

We have had this program on our computers for about a year. It was free for the first 10 or 14 days for trial period, then just $50 for good with free updates. You can find it by typing it in a search engine. The program not only shows pictures of what the child has on the screen, it also shows all instant messages, all keys typed, all web sites visited, and blocks unwanted web sites. The program is completely hidden and requires a series of keys to be typed to initialize it. Before you install something like this, be sure that spying is what you want to do. We do not use it very often, only when there seems to be a crisis which our child won't tell us about or an occasional check to make sure that where the child is going is safe. There are lots of evil people and bad web sites out there and we want to make sure our daughter is safe.

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Congratulations for taking responsibility
by tizzanne / February 15, 2008 1:52 PM PST
In reply to: checking up on my teen

Firstly Bonw, I heartily approve your taking the responsible action of supervising you child's internet usage. It is a very brave thing to do in this world of misguided rights and interferring do-gooders who only end up causing trouble for the ones they are supposedly helping. It is our responsibility as parents to make sure our kids grow up as safely as possible and anyone who thinks you are invading your childs privacy has no regards for the safety and welfare of our children.

There are many programs out there that can help you keep track of the way your computer is used. I personally have never needed to use them so I cannot guide your choice in that regard, but I do recommend you go for one that has a good reputation and do not be put off by having to pay some reasonable amount, your childs future is involved and the price of protecting that future is one only you can decide.

I feel that all children can be swayed at some time in their unexperienced lives to do something that might endanger them no matter how careful we are to protect them. It is in a childs nature to be inquisitive and sometimes disobedient, and with the wrong influence outside what you provide at home, even the best of kids have ended up damaged or even killed regardless of our efforts to protect them. But that is not to say we should not try our best. Anyone who has accused you of doing the wrong thing here does not deserve any attention from you. In fact, I think they should go bury themselves, at least the worms might find them useful.

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Our Children and the Internet
by bonw / February 16, 2008 12:52 AM PST

I would like to whole-heartedly thank everyone for their advise. I do not want to invade her privacy. I never look over her shoulder when she is using AIM or My Space. However, she is a very intelligent girl who has Aspberger's Syndrome which makes her socially vaulnerable.
I only allow her to use the internet from our main PC, which is in our livingroom. With a time limit of 1 hour. Her PC that is in her room is offline so she has unlimited use.
I have seen her friends list they are all children that I know, but there is this one boy that she likes a great deal. I just want to be able to read her conversations with this child to make sure he is not taking advantage of her emotionally.
She was recently hosptalized for harming herself because of depression. She says that this child helps her to get through her hard times by talking to her. I am not convinced that this is the case. My daughters friends have told me other stories about this childs intensions.
I want to protect her. I also do not want to take someone away that she feels that she is able to talk to. Thus the interest in reading what has been said between the two of them.
I do not want her to know I am tracking her conversations. I am trying really hard to show her that I can trust her. I just absolutly need to make sure she is not being led or taken advantage of.
I truely hope she is able to have the success that I have just read about in the above post. I am very, very happy for you and your family!
In a world like this it is so hard to find a balance of trust and independence when it comes to our children.
I will research the programs that have been suggested by you wonderful people, and any other ones that anyone may think of.
I do not do the forum-message board thing, but I am so happy I joined this one! It is so refreshing to talk to other intelligent caring people!

THANX AGAIN
Bonw

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