Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation for Justice

The day has finally come when Bill and Melinda Gates have once again stepped away from their philanthropy only causes, and are planning on going after the creators of the Conficker Worm with a VENGEANCE.

http://www.microsoft.com/Presspass/press/2009/feb09/02-12ConfickerPR.mspx?rss_fdn=Press%20Releases

While there may not be anyone else speculating about Bill and Melinda's role as anti-malicious software super heros, I have reason to believe that William Gates may just be the real life cyber version of Tony Stark (Iron Man).

Truth be told, I used to be a architect and created the design and contracted Bill's infamous trampoline room in his house. A day after it was finished, I went in to check the tension on the springs I had made from the gold fillings of Indian tech support workers, when I discovered Bill in spandex. He was hanging from a wire on the ceiling, typing upside down while doing physically demanding arial routines.

This type of training obviously wasn't for his charity works, especially the recent popular charitable foundation that provided free fillings to those who had gold fillings stolen in India. This was for something more, but at the time, I thought it was some new rich guy exercise routine, like Tae-Bo.

Later in July of 2004, I was looking for a new exercise routine for my trampoline room, when I came across a PC world article that told of Microsoft finding the teenager responsible for the Sasser Worm and the following quote about those responsible for the capture:

[quote]
The identity of the individuals isn't being disclosed. However, Smith offers two clues as to who they are.

"These were individuals who were aware of who the perpetrator was, Smith says. "They did not stumble upon this simply through technical analysis. They were aware of who this individual was. But beyond that, we're not in a position to disclose their identity."
[/quote]

http://www.pcworld.com/article/116064/microsoft_bounty_helps_nail_sasser_suspect.html

I then remembered what was on Bill's Screen in the trampoline room, Big bold letters LSASS, on a map. It all started to make sense. Bill Gates is using his influence and finances to travel around the globe hacking computer networks in the name of justice.

He can do it hanging upside down, or even parachuting by now. A friend, in my line of work, installed one of those fan-powered-parachute-rooms in his basement for Bill's supposed, "New rich-guy workout routine."

Melinda's role is under scrutiny, but many, including myself, think she is a master of deception, and using flirtation to distract network administrators from desk jobs long enough for William to infiltrate, gather data, and develop leads.

Expect Microsoft's bounties to get even bigger, as they simply go back into the charitable works of Bill and Melinda, and provide cover and finance for our Heroes.

Yours Truly,
Dr. B. Maximus