Speakeasy forum


Best BO joke so far

by TONI H / November 21, 2013 5:31 AM PST

A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh, whose clock is that?" St. Peter answered "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands on that clock have never moved, indicating that she has never told a lie." "Incredible" said the man.

"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that he only told two lies his entire life."

"Where's Obama's clock?" "His clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

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I heard that joke but it was about Bush, Cheney et al.
by Ziks511 / November 22, 2013 12:30 AM PST
In reply to: Best BO joke so far

The kicker was, "What about Colin Powell's clock?"
"It broke. We had to keep resetting it because he was being forced to lie."


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that doesn't even fit such a joke
by James Denison / November 22, 2013 12:44 AM PST

Here's one. Reagan, Nixon, and Obama all are presented to Saint Peter at the pearly gates at the same time. Saint Peter tells them they each will get transportation based on how many lies they told during their lifetime. First he asks Reagan and Ronnie admits he never told a lie. Saint Peter gives him a Lexus. Nixon admits he told a few lies because he wasn't a crook like everyone was saying about him, so Saint Peter gave him an old Volkswagen to ride around. Obama was asked the same question and seeing the results of the other two, he replied "I also never told a Lie". Saint Peter sadly shook his head and informed him that was just another one of his many Lies and instead of the skateboard he was about to get, instead he would be given wings to fly around with. Obama thought this was great, but just as his wings appeared the ground under him opened up and he started falling toward Hell, as the ground behind him closed.

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Clearly you don't remember back to 2004, when the joke
by Ziks511 / November 22, 2013 8:50 PM PST

was current, and the Powell kicker made it truly funny. Apparently Republicans are as quick to steal Democratic Party jokes as they are to screw up policy.

As to yours, I hate to tell you this, but don't look down. Not because it's a lie, because I know you believe it, but because it's bad. In a very not good way.


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