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AWNAA (From my In-Box)

by Pat S / October 6, 2004 12:21 AM PDT

May 23, 2005 WASHINGTON, DC (AP) Congress approved sweeping legislation which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by President John Kerry shortly after its passage by Congress, is being hailed as a major victory by the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Kerry, a longtime AWNA supporter.

"This is why many of them voted for me. We will no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some special knowledge or skill", said Kerry.

President Kerry pointed to the success of the US Postal Service which has a long standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job
skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.

Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include Radio Shack (52%), retail food stores (61%),and fast food chains (85%).

President Kerry has also set a personal example by appointing hundreds of Not abled people to government positions, including many cabinet level jobs.

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of
purpose and performance. In fact, a new department has been created whose sole function is the development of such titles. The initial task before that department was to pick a name for itself, and results are
expected within the first six months of operation.

Mandatory non-performance based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees.

The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in top positions and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or
"Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?" and "Are you awake?"

"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her
lack of skills and general apathy. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions more of the unwilling and untalented can finally see a light at the end of
the tunnel.

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Re: AWNAA (From my In-Box)
by William Finder / October 6, 2004 1:40 AM PDT
In reply to: AWNAA (From my In-Box)

Gosh! Now all the politicians are guaranteed outside jobs!

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Do you know what the sad part is?
by Paul C / October 6, 2004 4:22 PM PDT
In reply to: AWNAA (From my In-Box)

It's that this amusing post is only a slight exaggeration of the perversion of the concept of equal rights as practiced by the contemporary American left...

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Not being American...
by Mosonnow / October 6, 2004 7:31 PM PDT

... I cannot comment per se. But if you are going to be serious about this, it is certainly considered "obscene" here, "it" being the grave disparity between the salaries of the "can do's" and "can't do's".

Clearly, from the site below, lack of skills is already being taken very seriously. The thrust of the site is generally how to improve educational standards / qualifications.



D'oh! College offers course in Simpsonology, Media Life magazine, Dec. 2001. "As if 'The Simpsons' hasn't had enough influence on America's young, a college in Michigan plans to offer a course based on the iconic series, which is in its 13th season on Fox. Students at Siena Heights University, a Catholic university in Adrian, Mich., have been signing up for 'Animated Philosophy and Religion,' taught by Professors Kimberly Blessing and Anthony Sciglitano. The two-credit course will draw from texts including 'The Gospel According to the Simpsons' by Mark Pinsky and 'The Simpsons and Philosophy: The D'oh! of Homer' by William Irwin. The course is open to students of all faiths, be they Christian, Jew or miscellaneous."

The new Trivial Pursuit by John Leo, U.S. News, August 30, 1999. "Until recently, it wasn't really essential to look that deeply at curriculum [in colleges]. The components of a basic college education were well known and agreed upon. Now they aren't. Colleges are unsure of their mission, buffeted by consumer pressures and ideological forces, and unwilling to say what a sound education might consist of. As a result of this confusion and drift, campuses are increasingly at the mercy of fads and trends. Many universities offer courses on television shows. The University of Wisconsin has one on soap operas
[my bold] and Purdue offers one called 'The Biology of ER.' Other current or recent courses include 'Issues in Rock Music and Rock Culture' (Columbia University), 'The Physics, History, and Technique of Juggling' (Duke), 'Star Trek' (California State-Chico), 'Film Noir/Hard-Boiled Detective Fiction' (Georgetown), and 'Vampires: The Undead' (University of Pennsylvania), not to be confused with 'The Slavic Vampire' (University of Chicago). Courses on horror movies turn up with titles like 'The Look of the Perverse' or 'Horror and the Historicity of Monstrosity.' Sports-minded males who are disinclined to study can take courses on baseball and the 'Literature of Sports.'"

My sis, having had a lot to do with kids, used to say that, "Either they have it or they don't", meaning a smart brain (for want of a better definition). Unfortunately, not everyone does have it. I'm not religious, as you know, but it does remind me that the alternative would be to leave seeds in stony ground by the wayside.

We have great ongoing debates about becoming a two-layer(?) country, emphasised during the Thatcher years. If, as you say, George's spoof is not that far from the American Left's view, then what is the American Right's view for people who just don't "have it"? Shouldn't there be some better way than saying that social services can "throw them a scrap"?

PS I did say that I would side with Dave irrespective (in a different thread) if only to maintain a Forum balance. On this occasion, I would side with him if he were to post something similar. Not by political persuasion, but because the other biblical expression that comes to mind is about being good to one's fellow man.

There yer go. Rather more than 2 cents I'm afraid, but hey ho.


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