Speakeasy forum

General discussion

ask grandma

by Mark5019 / February 2, 2006 4:37 AM PST

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer.


In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly,
elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a young
boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you
cheat on your wife, and
you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
you're a big shot when
you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more
than a two-bit paper
pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy,
bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal
relationship with anyone and his
law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
cheated on his wife with
three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to
approach the bench, and in
a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, I'll
throw your sorry rear in jail
for contempt."

Discussion is locked
You are posting a reply to: ask grandma
The posting of advertisements, profanity, or personal attacks is prohibited. Please refer to our CNET Forums policies for details. All submitted content is subject to our Terms of Use.
Track this discussion and email me when there are updates

If you're asking for technical help, please be sure to include all your system info, including operating system, model number, and any other specifics related to the problem. Also please exercise your best judgment when posting in the forums--revealing personal information such as your e-mail address, telephone number, and address is not recommended.

You are reporting the following post: ask grandma
This post has been flagged and will be reviewed by our staff. Thank you for helping us maintain CNET's great community.
Sorry, there was a problem flagging this post. Please try again now or at a later time.
If you believe this post is offensive or violates the CNET Forums' Usage policies, you can report it below (this will not automatically remove the post). Once reported, our moderators will be notified and the post will be reviewed.
Collapse -
(NT) (NT) Laughing and can't stop! Someone please help! :-)
by Steven Haninger / February 2, 2006 4:41 AM PST
In reply to: ask grandma
Collapse -
It isn't that funny.........
by Self-Destruction / February 2, 2006 4:22 PM PST

How are you finding it so funny?

It is an o.k. joke but not something I would need to lie about.

Collapse -
Everyone has different tastes....
by EdH / February 2, 2006 10:22 PM PST

and what people find funny is subjective.

Collapse -
ed look at its beging member ship
by Mark5019 / February 2, 2006 10:38 PM PST

not a newbie another MPD

Collapse -
Hey Self-Destruction.......
by hh / February 2, 2006 10:41 PM PST

I bet you like 24 on Fox?

Collapse -
(NT) (NT) bingo its back:)
by Mark5019 / February 2, 2006 10:47 PM PST
Collapse -
Funny Grandnaw
by taboma / February 2, 2006 3:29 PM PST
In reply to: ask grandma

That is really funny.
Tell this to grandpaw. He will like it also.
Mark, do you know who I mean? One of our members here on a regular basis.

-Kevin

Collapse -
(NT) (NT) sorry brain fart here i dont:(
by Mark5019 / February 2, 2006 10:39 PM PST
In reply to: Funny Grandnaw
Collapse -
We know who you mean, But
by Glenda / February 4, 2006 1:03 AM PST
In reply to: Funny Grandnaw

Grandpaw doesn't like any of us in SE Sad Go figure! we are a great bunch Devil

Collapse -
(NT) (NT) LOL
by Mac McMullen / February 2, 2006 4:43 PM PST
In reply to: ask grandma
Collapse -
(NT) (NT) Describes my momma to a "T"!
by shaner7575 / February 2, 2006 10:04 PM PST
In reply to: ask grandma
Collapse -
Reminds me of when the Kennedy cousin went on trial
by Diana Forum moderator / February 3, 2006 7:55 AM PST
In reply to: ask grandma

for killing that girl when he was a teenager.

One of the potential jurors said that all the Kennedys had trouble letting their little head control their big head. Wink

Diana

Collapse -
(NT) (NT) must be a clinton kenndy thing:)
by Mark5019 / February 3, 2006 7:59 AM PST
Popular Forums
icon
Computer Newbies 10,686 discussions
icon
Computer Help 54,365 discussions
icon
Laptops 21,181 discussions
icon
Networking & Wireless 16,313 discussions
icon
Phones 17,137 discussions
icon
Security 31,287 discussions
icon
TVs & Home Theaters 22,101 discussions
icon
Windows 7 8,164 discussions
icon
Windows 10 2,657 discussions

Does BMW or Volvo do it best?

Pint-size luxury and funky style

Shopping for a new car this weekend? See how the BMW X2 stacks up against the Volvo XC40 in our side-by-side comparison.