And Its Monday Morning Again...

Thought I would drop in and say hello. Been out it for a few days and beat the grim reaper again. Aint dead yet.

Big day in Boston today. Red Sox game on at 11 am and Boston Marathon starts 11:30 am. Schilling and Timlin wife are running in the Marathon. Along with about 20,000 other brave souls.

Heres some Fun Things to Do in an Elevator

1. One word: Flatulence!

2. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

3. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

4. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

5. Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.

6. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

7. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

8. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

9. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

10. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"

11. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "Ive got new socks on!"

12. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, motion sickness!"

13. Meow occassionally.

14. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

15. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

16. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.

17. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

18. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You are one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

19. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"

20. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

21. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

22. Lean against the button panel.

23. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

24. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

25. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

26. Bring a chair along.

27. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?

28. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long string.

29. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

30. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

George

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roflmao lol

by Mark5019 Apr 17, 2005 11:18PM PDT

i will think about it

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Hi there Mark..

by Rolway Apr 17, 2005 11:32PM PDT

Was thinking about you when reading that #6 one. Couple of snakes in the brief case would do it eh.

George (Gotta go)

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(NT) (NT) hmmm maybe lol

by Mark5019 Apr 18, 2005 12:40AM PDT

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HA! These are great, George

by MarciaB Apr 18, 2005 12:00AM PDT

Nice to see you back here again.

Don't stay gone so long.

Slip your running shoes on and join the marathon during the last hundred yards or so -- all of SE will cheer for you as you sprint across the finish line

.

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Sounds good to me Marcia..Thanks

by Rolway Apr 18, 2005 1:19AM PDT

But, I think I would be crossing the finish line in the prone position. Besides the marathon is suppose to be over by dart I think.

Real Hot out today. 80 degrees inland. Maybe a little cooler in Boston with some sea breeze near the finish line. Not good for the runners. Gonna be a tough run up that heart break hill in this weather.

George

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I can see you doing those things!!! LOL

by Glenda Apr 18, 2005 1:04AM PDT

Good to see you again! Missed you bunches.
Sue

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Hi Glenda

by Rolway Apr 18, 2005 1:41AM PDT

Yeah, some of them I have done in the elevator over at Hospital especially with the buttons. But the Wife has a fit, gets embarassed. kicks me in the shins. Oh, well. I was really cooking one day over there and she would'nt ride with me. Said no thanks I'll take the next one. See you down stairs. What the heck, with all the uppers and downers they give you what do they expect.

George

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Smart Lady!! LOL

by Glenda Apr 18, 2005 1:52AM PDT

Now besides bingo you can't go on the elevator either!!! LOL! Love it! Say Hi to her for me
Sue

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Gee Glenda...

by Rolway Apr 18, 2005 3:49AM PDT

You still remember that Bingo Game business from last year? Well the Wife still figures she can convert me.
I'm going to tell the whole story here if the forum doesnt mind and I dont use up too much space.

This all started last year, and every so often the Wife cons me into going to one of the games.

Last Spring my wife decided I needed a little social life. She figured, now that I'm
retired we should do a little of this togetherness bit. I said, Oh Yeah!!, what did you
have in mind dear? BINGO!! We are going to my afternoon bingo game at the
Senior Center up town. Swell I though, ought to be a blast.

Anyway, upon entering the hall I grabbed a chair and sat down. A sweet little
elderly lady said; "thats my lucky chair you are sitting in". Well, I had to move
out of five lucky chairs before being allowed to sit. Thought I was playing
Musical Chairs. Then came intermission time, with two tables full of nice
homemade cookies, cakes, coffee, juice etc. I proceeded to fill up on these
tasty treats. I was well into it when the Hall Director came over to me and
lam-blasted me for over indulging in her goodie bar. Then, before the game
resumed she gave a 15-20 min. lecture on mis-use of the snack bar. It was
embarrasing to me because everyone there was glaring at me for delaying
the game. I told the wife, no more Wrinkle City Bingo. I'll stay home thank you.

Well, all last summer when it came Bingo day, I would get out in the back yard
and start a project. As soon as her car went around the corner, I would run
in the house and grab a nap. Beautiful I thought.

Well, last fall I did get conned into it again and I thought
to myself, got to figure something out here. Toward one of the last cover all
games it hit me. Ah Ha, thinking about an old joke I heard. I stood up and yelled
B-52. One elderly lady yelled "what the hells the matter with you old man we
ain't deef. Besides theres no B-52". I know that Mam, I just wanted to see if
there are any Iraqi in the Hall. They say the quickest to break up an Iraqi
Bingo game, is yell B-52. Should I yell F-16? Well, you should have heard the
ruckus from those old ladies....Yep, delayed the game again.

So, I got the couch back and got a good nap on Bingo day.
Had to sleep on it for a couple nights though.

I don't understand it. These people are so serious over this little Bingo game that
has a huge pot of 27 bucks if your lucky. I got to find a pool hall around here somewhere.
because I can see this subject looming in the shadows again now that spring is here.

George (Sox winning 9-5, 6th)

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LOL! Yep :))

by Glenda Apr 18, 2005 4:09AM PDT

The story was even funnier watching the wife's face as you told it!!! Too funny George
Sue

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Hospital elevators

by MarciaB Apr 18, 2005 3:33AM PDT

LOL

I would try that at the Hospital where I work, but we are a one-floor building. Hmmmm .... can we come up with a comparable list for passing folks in the hallway?

I'm sure we can

.

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Heres a couple Marcia

by Rolway Apr 18, 2005 6:40AM PDT

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?, Oh never mind. Its gone now.

Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".

As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

Ask people what gender they are.

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.

Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".

George

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Good to see that any rumors.....

by Angeline Booher Apr 18, 2005 4:06AM PDT

..... of your passing were grossly exaggerated.

(Now, don't stay away so long! You know how we worry.)

You certainly live in an exciting city!

As for mine....

We have the Country Music Association 10K marathon coming up on April 30.

Our Triple A American North baseball team will be getting a new stadium, which will be near the Titans one.

The Nashville Kats (arena football) won last night. But they don't draw the crowds the Predators (NHL) did before the lock out. Sure hurts the downtown businesses.

As I read your elevator fun, I thought about how many times I had seen some of those.

Thanks for the chuckles!

Angeline

click here to email semods4@yahoo.com

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Ah....Tenn... Good Country

by Rolway Apr 18, 2005 6:26AM PDT

Hi Angeline;

No I did'nt pass on just yet. Dragging a little bit of oxygen around and they stuck a stent in me, but I'm still around. They went up through the groin artery to get at the heart main artery. 75% clogged. Blew it up with a little balloon and put a stent in. (Angioplasty)
Between all the Nurse change of shifts and the Visiting Nurse at home for 2 weeks checking the main entry point at the groin, I never dropped my pants so much in my whole life in front of women. Felt like one of those streakers. Embarrassing at that. My main problem is the lungs are all shot and they keep screwing around with the heart.

Yes, Boston is an exciting city for some. I never go in there anymore. I think its been 12 or 15 years or more since going in there. Why I ever stayed in MA, I'll never know. I was born and raised on a farm and still live in old farm town, but its not like the old days. Always wanted to go to Nashville and the Grand Ole Opry. Never made it down there. Been a lot of places, but some how never got to the Grand Ole Opry.

So you are getting a new stadium. Thats Nice. Fenway Park will be here forever. Its a landmark, History...They just put in a new field this winter, new dugouts, runway, batting cages, etc. Fixing it all up. Adding something like 2500 new seats over next 2 years. Added parking garages and landscaping around the park.

Sox just won again. 12-7
Ethiopias Ngussie won mens division in marathon race
Kenyas Ndereba won womens division.

George

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George, number 2 works especially well...

by Paul C Apr 18, 2005 10:40AM PDT

here in Indianapolis in May, June and August. Note: In June, one must pitch the noises higher to accurately mimic a Formula 1 car as opposed to the IRL (May) and NASCAR (August) ones...

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Thanks Paul..

by Rolway Apr 18, 2005 11:32AM PDT

Good thinking. I'll have to practice up on the various race car sounds for different floors. Got to keep this stuff authentic for effect. Working on the flatulence (whatever) too.

George

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