An Oldie...always worth the re-read

From my In-box....somewhat of an oldie...but worth a re-read:

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the
thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first
thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have Forbidden fruit!!!!!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He
hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He
was ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and
Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has
never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently
and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be
hard on yourself If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it
would be a piece of cake for you?

CHILDISH THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk,
and you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Parents of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that
there are children more awful than your own.

6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.

FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND
"KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"